I don't know how many of you know my sorta friend Mela. I say sorta friend bc I haven't seen her in maybe ten years but still follow up on her on facebook. She has done so many interesting things in life like modeling and stand up comedy, things I would be way to afraid to do. And she does it brilliantly and does it in spite of three disabilities.
Awhile back she started doing a web show and I dont know why I didn't start watching it until now (I'm upset and just can't sleep). And I think everyone should take a few minutes and watch them. You will learn so much. This one for example is a short webisode about depression. Obviously if you know me you know how close that hits to home for me. But I realized in watching this that I absolutely judge people just as badly as people judge me, full well knowing how crippling it can all be. I've called people crazy full well knowing how hurtful it is when people say that to me.

So if you have some time, watch some of these videos. They aren't high quality, but they are short and funny and informative. Here is the link

I'm not saying this made everything ok tonight. Obviously I'm still awake. I'm still upset. And I'm going to be. But watching these humbled me a little bit. My life really isn't that bad. It could be so much worse. And it's hard to remember that sometimes. Sometimes I think love is its own disability.

I don't know. I just really want to be sleepy and not spin fifty million what ifs through my brain.
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