2012 In Review

2012 in Review I've been thinking about writing a 2012 in review post for awhile now, because so many things have happened this year. I thought I'd start it by going back and rereading what I was doing at the beginning of the year. Jesus. I was a mess. I frankly don't know how most of you put up with me to be honest. I still wasn't in that great of a place with myself, and I was just wallowing. I'm glad I put on my big girl panties and got my shit together. Mostly. There's still times I freak out, but, one day at a time, right? My resolution for last year was to learn patience, and jebus, I got that in spades. I mean, I moved in with Rachael for one. That's been a whole new learning experience. But as much as I had to learn patience with others, I've had to learn it with myself. And that's a bigger deal that I ever imagined. I'm not perfect and I've got a long long way to go. But, I'm thankful for that. So here are some highlights of 2012. 1. My idiot dog got famous in the WV scratch-off lotto ticket community. 2. My questionable mole wasn't cancerous. 3. I didn't move to DC for work, but did get a promotion to Activity Lead. 4. I went white water rafting for the first time and froze my ass off. 5. I went flying with a coworker in a tiny plane and got to fly over my house. 6. I became a godmother to a very adorable and spoiled by me baby. 7. Several of my dearest friends/cousins got married/had kids. 8. I survived (and had fun!!) at my ten year high school reunion, with people I've been friends with for the majority of my time on this planet. 9. I started taking better care of my health (physically and mentally) and took more time to appreciate the little things. 10. I played on a recreational soccer league and lost every game and loved every single minute of it. 11. I finished the Warrior Dash. This itself should get five mentions. 12. I participated in many charity walks/runs with work/friends/family. 13. I went on an amazing island vacation with new and old friends for my birthday and got to see a sea turtle in it's natural habitat. 14. I dyed part of my hair smurf blue. 15. I bought a car. 16. I moved into a haunted house. 17. I started dating again. 18. I made new friends, I lost old friends. I learned a lot about priorities. 19. I spent more time with friends that don't live in the ten-minute vicinity, that I've missed seeing. 20. I saw Counting Crows in concert and they were awful. haha 21. I spent more time with family and appreciate them for the fact that they are complete insane. If 2012 was about learning patience, I want 2013 to be about learning love. I did love before, and I do love now, in my own way. But I want to learn about real love. And I'm sure I'll have some crazy adventure to get there and this time next year I'll have a hundred new crazy experiences to relive. I wish each and every one of you a happy new year and I hope that it brings you happiness and love. Remember I'm always here for you and I love ya.

So even though I salted the steps last night I busted my booty this morning on the way to work. If this doesn't work, then I am screwed this winter:



So besides my bruised butt and ego, things have been pretty great lately. I had a good trip home, ate too much, slept a lot, got an official gluten free boyfriend, and had safe travels in the ice storm. Twice

Friday I left work at noon bc it was expected to snow. I'm glad I left when I did bc it got bad around halfway home and then got worse once I made it.




Saturday was the Samples Christmas party which is always fun. Bluegrass music, food made with butter, and everyone trying to feel josh and Erica's baby kick (due in four weeks!). Uncle mick gave me a silver dollar to help pay my student loans. I love the humor.

That evening we had a special treat bc kellie and Chris came up to Mammaws. They are two months pregnant and will find out if its a boy or girl around the time Erica is due.





Aunt Beth, uncle Larry and LJ were also at Mammaws, along with lJ's mustache...




It was sad that Laura and Mark couldn't make it this year, but I guess that is growing up. Blugh.

Sunday after church we went to visit great aunt Freda. It's weird that she is getting older. She was always so tall, but now I am just about as tall as she is. Am I getting taller? I wish. She gave me some books that belonged to my great grandparents which is neat. They have old book smell.



We also went to cabelas. I kept trying to take photos to make It look like I had antlers but i kept laughing. This is the best I could do.



On Christmas Eve I spent most of the day home alone. I didn't even get out of pjs until after four.


Ryan had hoped to come down for the day but the weather and a couple other things prevented that. However we did have a real conversation about what we were doing and decided to make a real go of things. Facebook official and all. It's scary, it's the first "real" relationship I've been in since zach, but it's a good scary. He knows about everything that happened and my seasonal depression and how in trying to be healthier and he is amazingly supportive of everything. It's refreshing.

Christmas Eve church was the same as always. It's not quite as special as it was when we were little, especially with most of the family other places. But it's still beautiful to hear Silent night in German.






Mammaw came over on Christmas Day to watch us open present and have breakfast. I am stoked bc I got a great new camera. And also some old ones!!




All in all it was a great weekend. I had to leave early yesterday bc of the ice storm, but on the plus Ryan got to come up for the night. I'm appreciative of so many things right now. Thankful for the ups and downs of this year.






























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Christmas was great even though I missed the Atkins/Cliburn clan very much. I swear I'll make a real post later. In the mean time I think I broke my tailbone again.

Hope everyone had a great holiday!




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It's after midnight and this grandma should be asleep right now but I've been laying here in bed reading about Taylor Morris. I posted some links on Facebook but here is a link to his page. http://www.taylormorris.org/

He is one brave kid. No, not a kid. Even if he is younger than I am the shit he has lived through makes him more of an adult than I will ever be. His girlfriend too. I hope someday to find love like they have, that will stand through anything.

In lighter news I nearly killed Ryan this weekend.

That's an exaggeration but it still wasn't good. He came up Friday to spend the weekend which is great bc I haven't really gotten to see him much the last few weeks. We were going to go to the movies so I could finally see Lincoln but when it came Down to it, we were lazy instead. I ordered my fatty self some pizza and that's where the whole disaster started. See, Ryan has severe celiacs. He was sick for many years before they figured out what was wrong. He's got a super regimented diet now and absolutely cannot have gluten without getting sick.

So of course I order the most gluten filled food there is. And of course (bc the story won't make sense if I don't tell you the embarrassing bitS) we were making out like two kids at church camp. It didn't cross my mind to brush my teeth and he forgot to remind me. But just that was enough to make him sick. And I feel just awful. It's not like stomach virus puke and done sick but achey and stomach cramps and fever for days sick. I know he felt worse than he let on and I feel like a total asshole. So we did a lot of laying around instead of going out and about. I did take him up to see the house that christmas threw up on and he was adequately impressed.




I finally watched season two if walking dead. We were supposed to go to his last tattoo session, part four, but the artist had to cancel. I cannot imagine a twenty second tattoo bc I'm a coward and he has well over five hours in this.


Redamndiculous.

I'm glad there are just five days of work until the holiday. I need a break.

Love and sunshine.

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So I may have mentioned this, can't remember, but last week i signed up to participate in the 13 days of love letters from More Love Letters. Google it. The short of it is people write in about people who need positive reinforcement or just to hear something nice. And getting mail, actual paper mail, is always a really great thing. Then a volunteer can sign up and you'll be given someone to write to. For the 13 Christmas days, everyone is given the same 13 people so they will be completely awash with letters of hope and love.

I'm a sucker for a hand written letter myself and I know how meaningful it is to me to receive one. So I thought I would join this and maybe make some small contribution to someone out there. And even for me (it's up to day eight now) it has been a positive experience. Writing to a total stranger and reminding them they are loved reminds you that you are loved. Reminding them things can get better also reminded me of how bad things have been and could be again but that there's always hope if you're willing to look for it. It's just a completely guy wrenching and wonderful thing. I think I will continue to volunteer to write for this project after the thirteen days are up bc it benefits me so so much and I can only hope it benefits someone else out there too.

I hope maybe you'll look into this too. Or something like it. Something small that can make a big impact. Every one needs loved. Sometimes they just need to be reminded.


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For a Monday morning, it's been a really great day. I had a very cathartic conversation this morning that further reminded me I'm making the right choices in my life. Sometimes it's the little reminders that mean the most.

I hope this finds all of you safe and happy on this rainy Monday!




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Amanda and I have started bootcamp at the gym and good lord I'm a weakling. But part of it is cardio and its helping me get my running back, so that's good.

I don't really have anything specific to talk about. My apologies. Things have been going well overall lately so I'm not gonna complain. Friday I'm walking in the Christmas parade for the relay for life and then Saturday I'm hanging out with Ryan. Yes he does have a real name. Not gonna give him a code name bc it's dumb.

Love and sunshine!


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So tomorrow after work I'm going with Ryan to watch him get a tattoo. In my mind this will take away some of the fear. In reality I may puke in his lap. Either way it should be exciting?

And. Before you ask who Ryan is he is a guy i am sorta seeing. We've been talking for awhile now and have hung out a few times. So far I really enjoy his company. I've been up front with him about how wary I am about everything and he's been very cool about it all. I don't know if anything will come of it, but I'm enjoying his company for now and we will see what happens.

I can't believe it's nearly Christmas already. This year. Wow. Just wow. To kick of the new year I've decided to do the Whole 30 eating challenge. No processed food. No dairy or bread or sugars. It's going to be hard as hell. But. I want to keep getting healthier and this seems like a step in the right direction. Bootcamp is kicking my ass all over the place but I can already tell a difference in a short time. Tonight we did arms and I know tomorrow it's going to be nearly impossible to dress myself. But it's so worth it.

I hope everyone is doing well. Love you all always :)

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Happy thanksgiving everyone. I've got so much to be thankful for this year. So many things, good and bad have happened in this last year and I think (I hope anyway) every one of them has helped me grow and become a better person. This time last year I was a complete mess all over again and now.. Well I'm thankful for the direction I'm heading in, the friends and family who love me, and the new people I'm meeting every day.

I'm thankful for my godson, my birthday vacation, my many charity 5Ks, my lead position at work, for all the fun and funny moments with friends and all the laid back lazy moments with family and friends. New friends and old friends, watching them all get married and have babies and be happy and grow. I can only hope in this next year I continue to appreciate the many blessings I have in my life and the opportunities I've been given.

All my love and sunshine to each and every one of you!



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Dear blog,
I feel like I've got nothing of Interest to write. I've nothing much to plan for other than the upcoming holiday. Well that's not true either, I'm going to the game this weekend and then will be home for the next and then possibly the one after for my cousins baby shower. I'm glad the holidays are a busy time. I've been trying to do more charity activities and am thinking about possibly being a big sister after the new year. Though i don't know if I'm very much a role model type that they'd want for that kind of thing. But, it's something I want to look into more. I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything if I'm not helping someone else.

Works been wearing lately. Something has to change but I don't know what that is. I wish I could just win the lotto and be set for life and then could afford to go work for some small publishing company on a crummy salary. Or I might have to revert to my plan of marrying an aging doctor and being a trophy wife. Harhar.

I had a long talk with my friend Jeremy tonight about life and how he is single for the first time in a very long time and how different and scary it is. And it is. But I don't think I fully believed it myself until talking to him that I am completely happy with myself in such a way that if for some reason I didn't meet anyone down the road, I'm still happy enough with myself to not feel empty or not complete. I feel like meeting someone would just be an added bonus. And I never thought that before.

It's a good feeling.


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I got to meet baby Lucas yesterday! He's so tiny and brand new. Completely melted my heart.













Shainna and Bryan are beginning one amazing adventure.

I went to the mall afterward to have dinner with a friend and people watch. It's super busy places like that where I feel the very most alone.

Today I enjoyed this strange beautiful weather and read a whole book. Bc I'm that kind of nerd.

I haven't found what I want in life but I know more each day what I'm looking for. I see the people in my life as role models. I try not to judge, but I know what I'm looking for. I just hope I'm lucky enough to find it.

And happy Veterans Day to all the vets and their families. All the history books in all the world can't contain all the stories and the memories and the hurt love and compassion experienced.

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Shainna is having a baby as we speak. Today I ate some burritos.

Clearly I'm doing something wrong.

I'm so happy for her And Bryan and I can't wait to meet Lucas, hopefully this coming weekend. They are a real little family unit now. I won't like that I don't think my eyes can get any greener with envy. I'm so overwhelmed for them so I can't even imagine what they're feeling. It's all so exciting.

This weekend was another great weekend in the charleston/Huntington area. It's nice that so many of my closest friends live there now and I can see all of them when I make a trip. I think at this point if Amanda and/or Lish would happen to move there I would pack up and head there too. It's actually not so bad and I like it more than here. I'm gettin the itch to get out of this town again.

But. It was good to visit with everyone and go to mountain stage at the Keith Albee theater. If you have never been, you should go check it out. It's an amazing old building. I could spend a whole weekend just exploring and taking pictures. I also can't recommend mountain stage enough. It's always an eclectic array of bands and it never disappoints. I think my favorite was Spirit Family Reunion, very old gospel/bluegrass/upbeat. I mean hell they even had a washboard player.

We also saw the pumpkin house (think the house that Christmas threw up on, with pumpkins) and a global market with fair-trade items. I think I just about have my Christmas shopping complete now. All that's left is my grandmother. No clue what to get her. Thoughts?

Anyway. Here's some pics. Sorry I don't have anything thrilling to write.


























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Well kids I bought a car. Finally.

Whew!

It took half the day and made me feel like I was going to throw up. But thanks to dads amazing negotiating skills I got a hell of a deal.

It is yet to be named. But it's a 2012 impreza hatchback. And I love it.




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Today I think I made a new friend. Or at least showed a stranger that I'm not a terrible person, which I think is a good thing. Sometimes fate finds people who have been equally screwed up and screwed over and says, hey, this person knows.

It's nice to genuinely be understood.

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I've really been debating lately on shutting my blog down. I rarely write anymore and I don't exactly have anything of worth to say. Mostly it was a place for me to spiral into and out of depression, and since things are pretty good right now for the most part, I feel like I've got nothin much to write. Plus there's only really two of you, Laura and Bethany, that read this (I think the rest is spambots) and I talk to both of you about more than what I ever put on here anyway. So I think I'll probably taper off here. Until my next big life crisis, which I hope (knock on wood) doesn't ever happen.

Tomorrow morning I'm doing a 5k for breast cancer. As this is something that has directly changed my family, of course I'm going to do it. I think this may be my last one of the season, and its definitely going to be the most fun- we have tutus to wear. Among an assortment of other accessories. It should be a lot of fun. It was so cold last year and I remember being miserable and having to think about all the people I knew fighting this stuff just to make it through. Hopefully this year will go better, but I'll be thinking of everyone just the same.

I have a list of people I pray for every night, whether bc they are ill or need help or bc I love them or bc I dislike them. Everyone who has ever read this is on that list. I don't know why I felt the need to type that, but know, out there, that I care about ya and hope your life is as wonderful as it can be.

Bethany got me this sign and I put it on my lamp so it's the first thing I see when I wake up:



That's how we all should live every day. Even when it hurts. Even when it's scary. Bc without love we have nothing.

I love all of you.

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Thank goodness for long weekends. I needed this one.

I'm still at home bc I'm in the midst of a new project. Namely getting fifty layers of paint off an old vanity mom found me:



I'm really excited to have this all said and done. New hardware, new padding and material for the bench, etc. I needed this kind of project today. Something to get my brain turned off.

Yesterday we made applebutter with the family, just like we've been doing for longer than I've been alive, longer than my parents have been alive. Probably longer than Mammaws been alive. I appreciate it now as a piece of my family history more than anything.

We also went down to the town fall festival. All growing up we would go to the pumpkin festival in Milton and stay with aunt dee and uncle Roy, and I miss doing that. But the sutton festival is a sad sad close second. Maybe fifty second. Hah.

I've been spending a lot of time in my head lately. It's time to get back on track and do better. I let myself get caught up in something that was nothing again. The so called Summer of Andrea was definitely something. I don't regret it, it's all been a learning experience. But I know what I want out of life and what I need, and also what I don't need. I just need to keep on keepin on.

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Settling back into work hasn't been as painful as I imagined it would be. Having finished everything for the upcoming week before I left really helped make this all easier I think. Everyone has been so nice about saying they missed me, whether it is true or not. It is nice to feel appreciated, either way.

It's a long weekend coming up, so I think I will probably go home for it. I want to vegetate, but I've been informed it's apple butter weekend, so put your orders in now if you want any. It's things like this that I appreciate more now that I'm older. I used to hate having to help stir off apple butter because it takes all damn day to do. But. Now it's nice to see everyone.

One of my neighbors back home passed in his sleep over the weekend and it's made me sad/uneasy. He was elderly and his wife had passed some time ago now, but he was just the nicest person, always with a smile on his face. I was close in age to his grandkids and I know they're all taking this rather hard. It makes me scared for losing Mammaw as she's my only grandparent still alive. She's incredibly healthy though, all things considered, so I feel it'll be ok for some time yet. What a morbid topic.

This evening I attempted to do some painting and it has failed miserably. I envisioned painting a quilt for mom for Christmas. This is how far I got before I got pissed and quit.



It worked out so much better in my head.

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I cannot even begin to wrap my brain around this last week. It was amazing and crazy and hot and itchy and beautiful and exciting and wow.

Just wow.

St John is a beautiful place. The city part (which is smaller than Sutton) is dirty and crowded and full of tiny one way streets. But the other 80 percent is national park land. So the views of the mountains and the ocean are just overwhelming.

I'll post pics at the end, don't you worry.

Our trip in took forever it felt like. Plane after plane and then a crazy taxi and then a ferry and then a scarier taxi (that my luggage flew out of at one point) and then finally got to maho bay camp. It's all stairs and wooden paths. My leg muscles got a ridiculous work out this weekend.

Out treehouse was tiny. Screen windows. One box fan. Bathhouse up the hill with cold water showers. We really were camping. But to wake up to the ocean.. It makes my heart explode.

We spent most days on the beAch, either at maho, hawks nest, or Francis key. It's all little cove beaches with either soft sand or lots of coral. The water really is as calm and turquoise as it looks in photos. I wish I ha a good camera and could have photographed everything.

For my bday we went up to the ruins of a 1780s dutch sugar plantation and mill that overlooks the British VI. That was just jaw dropping to see, all the history. We learned later in the week tht where we were staying was the main port in and out of the islands and that the tiny island with a barricade looking crumbly structure outside our window was the weigh station of sorts, where all traffic in and out had to stop.

There were a shit ton of sand fleas that big spray didn't deter. I look like I have some sort of pox with my tan. I still itch and woke myself up scratching last night.

When it rains it RAINS, but never for very long. We played a lot of cards and read a lot of books, which would have happened regardless of whether the sun was out or not.

I'm thankful for having had the opportunity to take this trip, but I'm also thankful for being home in my own bed and have access to hot showers.

The most amazing part was snorkeling/swimming with all the creatures. Including a sea turtle, sting ray, and schools and schools of fish. I felt like my own version of finding nemo.

Maho also has an art studio where you can do glass work and pottery. I took the glass class and it was amazing. Also hot.

I would absolutely go back again and can't recommend it enough.





















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