Oh hello

I've become a terrible blogger.

I think about it nearly every day, but what would I write? Worked on the house. Dog ate some electronics. Got overly emotional over an episode of the Walton's.

Honestly though, life has been busy lately. For a lot of reasons both work and personal.

But what I thought I would do instead is do my big end of the year reflective post. Bc why not.

I know my New Years "resolution" if you will was to learn love. I always make these vague things that I should know better than say, bc it seems like you always learn it in the hardest ways. But I guess you do learn the most that way.

Things about love I learned. That my heart is not cold and dead. This may come as a surprise. Or maybe not. Even though I've dated here and there a bit, I never really let anyone in after zach. Bc that shit is terrifying. But then I did. And it wasn't awful. And I felt that kind of love again. It didn't last and that too was awful. But on this side of it I know I'm not totally broken. Completely mangled, sure. But I know I can feel that feeling again. And I look forward to it.

I learned to love strangers. Taking on the 30 charities challenge for my birthday was eye opening. I'm learning a lot about different organizations and also about the people who champion them. It's nice to see that side of friends and family. And things I've been involved in haven't always been through orgs. Not too long ago a friend and I went and stocked up on groceries for someone who needed them. Not for the praise of doing it. But bc someone was hungry. Love of humanity is a big thing that sometimes completely overwhelms me.

Love of my friends and family. As you get older you really do pick and choose who to keep in your life. And it's definitely been a year of finding out who stays and who goes. And it's amazing to see the talented and caring people I get to call friend and family. I recently had brunch with 15 friends I've known since 5th grade. I don't think many people can do that. It was a great day and a memory I will hold on to. Friends who helped me ease into turning 30 (which wasn't painful after all) and who continually make me feel loved and important.

I love my awful dogs. Haha. They aren't awful. Not most of the time anyway. They do rescue me as much as I've rescued them. Being able to curl up with them at the end of the day is a lovely thing. Mostly bc they keep me warm and I don't have to turn the heat up.

Without sounding incredibly materialistic, I love my house. I love it bc it is mine. I've put work into it (or put my dollars into a specialists work) and it's become more than just a place I store my things and sleep. This is my home. And it can be mine forever if I want it to be. I love (for the most part) the sense of community I feel on my street. I love getting to participate in suburbia activities like giving out Halloween candy and decorating for Christmas. I feel like I finally have a place. This may be bc I have all the same hobbies as my elderly neighbors.

Maybe these are all little things that normal people already know. But for this year these are my things. They've not been easy. But they are mine and I love them for helping me love better.

I've been trying to think of what I want to learn in this upcoming year. I'm almost afraid to pick something bc I know it will be so different from what I expect, but in the end it will be just right. Can't always have it the easy way.

I think, for 2014, I want to learn about romance. And not Disney fairy tales. I'm talking the old couple that still holds hands. The kid with the boom box from Say Anything. The butterflies in the stomach (not food poisoning. Dear God please not food poisoning). The simple and the spectacular and the things they can't make up.

I've had an amazing year. I don't think I would change any of it. Well. I might eat more cheese, if it's handy. Otherwise, I'll take it.















-
























































































































Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I have wonderful friends. Who got together and threw me a surprise birthday lunch in charleston at Hibachi. I had such a great time and was so happy to see everyone.









- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I suppose on birthday eve I should actually post a blog, huh? I've definitely slacked off on this. It doesn't hold my interest as much. Probably bc I'm not bitching and whining as much (I'm sure you approve of that at least).

I've been doing a lot of thinkin. Since I'm hitting 30 in a few hours. On one hand it doesn't bother me and isn't a big deal. On the other it's overwhelming.

Am I where I thought i would be at 30? No way. Not even close. But. That doesn't mean I don't like where I am. For the most part anyway. There's about two percent of me that's Wishy washy over it all. I figured i would be living out of state, married, at least thinkin about kids, hopefully working in some sort of publishing job. I'm not doing any of those things.

But I don't think Im a failure for it. I think my path has just been changed. Yes I still hope to get married some day and maybe have kids. Sure I'd like to do some sort of publishing. But I do like my job. I like Morgantown mostly. And good things have happened tht I appreciate. And bad things have happened that I learned from and appreciate even more.

When I look back over this past year, it's been a doozy. I mean I started my birthday waking up In a treehouse in the Caribbean! You can't beat that haha. So many things have happened. I bought a car. And then a whole house. I adopted another crazy dog that I can't imagine living without. I have a godson who I love to spoil. I got the most violent case of the flu and got to catch up on daytime TV. I got a promotion at work bc i finally proved myself. I made new friends. Drifted apart from old friends. Vacationed with friends I've known for over 20 years. I got back in the dating scene. Which is terrifying. Has it worked out for me yet, no. But I still have hope that it will. I'm just glad I'm doing it. I've participated in a ton of charity events, doing my small part to better my community. Hell, I learned what happens when you put gasoline in the oil reserve on a lawn mower (rookie move). I learned to mow a yard! I've cried from exhaustion. Laughed til I peed myself. Been angry enough to throw a shoe,
Sorry enough to actually admit I was wrong and apologize. I've come to love my family more than I thought possible for helping me through a lot of things.

So many things I am thankful for. I am very blessed. And these things are what keep me from being too sad over turning 30. I've got a lot of life and experiences ahead of me. I just hope that I'm brave enough to face them.

Thank you all for being here with me through the ups and downs. I appreciate all of you.

Here is how I'm spending my birthday eve: curled up with my dogs, watching Must Love Dogs, eating cheese popcorn, with a pile of blankets and the windows open. Not where I thought I would be. But. I'll take it.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Hi readers, remember me? I swear I still love you.

This past weekend was a first for me- I went to one of those three day music festivals. Much more hipster than hippie, but loads of fun. Delaware is a beautiful state and I really look forward to going back there. We went to the beach the first morning and the part we were at anyway felt much like topsail. It made me all the more excited to be going there in August. It will be nice getting away for a whole week.

But the music festival was really neat. I got to see a lot of bands I probably wouldn't have spent the money to otherwise (yeah yeah yeahs, Alabama Shakes, Matt&Kim, atlas genius, etc) and genuinely enjoyed, several bands that I did want to see and got to see full sets of (avett brothers, Tom petty, red hot chili peppers), and got to meet and get autographs from one of my favorite bands at the moment, Delta Rae. It was really neat and something I would love to do again. The drive isn't that bad either, only about six hours. On the way there we stopped in Baltimore and ate at the Annabel lee, a Poe-themed restaurant. I had the best shrimp Alfredo ravioli.

Also I love the Chesapeake bay bridge.

I feel like everything is just a whirlwind. I've got something goin on literally every weekend through the end of August. That's both a good and bad thing, as I feel like I'm not accomplishing much on the house. I did set up autopay for my mortgage, so that felt very responsible and thrifty (I get a very very slight discount for doing this).

All in all, life is good.































- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone