1. i hate making decisions. especially ones i dont want to make. especially ones i want to be told are wrong, proven i'm wrong. but, it looks like i was right. you cant always get what you want.. but it seems i'll always get let down.
2. i went to the eye doctor today. turns out my left eye got 100% better and my right eye got eighty four thousand times worse. my left was my worse growing up and the right had to make up for it. now it got screwed over. damn my eyes.
3. who has 2 thumbs and passed out in an eat'n'park parking lot? bob kelso, how you doing. at least i made it to the parking lot and not on patteson drive.
4. 8 more workdays until i get to escape
5. i really really want to not be sad on my birthday.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
in which i do not understand
let me paint you a picture. imagine me in my pajamas. the wrinkliest tshirt i own. my hair a mess. no makeup in sight. the explain to me why i got hit on at taco bell. not that the border is a classy establishment, but it happened not once but twice. and i got MAD. not bc i got cat-called out the window by the drive-thru guy. but bc when i go through the trouble of fixing my hair and putting on makeup and MATCHING MY CLOTHES i might as well be part of the scenery.
from now on, i'm dressing homeless.
from now on, i'm dressing homeless.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
rambling brain mush
sorry i havent posted much, kids. strange things have been afoot at the circle k. and i've got enough jumbling around in the head, most of it unimportant, that i finally decided to take it out on the few of you that read this garbage.
1. i suppose i should get it out first. for those of you who know leah, she needs your thoughts, as does her new husband lukas. lukas was just diagnosed with classic hodgkins lymphoma yesterday. he's 30, i think. from what they understand thus far, there are good chances with chemo and radiation that he will be fine. it's several places in his body though. i dont know more details than this at the time. this terrifies me, just as it does when anyone my age, no, anyone at all has health scares like this. i dont understand why this happened to them now, when they've only been married, what, 4 months? i mean, yes, i am sure it helps him to have her there to support him. it just all makes me angry. it makes me angry bc it reminds me of what a thin line i walk.
2. i have no idea why, but i was sitting at work the other day and remembered what i wore to my first day of high school. why is this important? it's not. but it was one of those random moments where i could picture it in my head. getting off the school bus and walking into school. i had my army green jansport backpack, my grey o'neil tshirt with the awesome dragon on the back that i later gave to olivia bc she borrowed it all the time, these awesome blue and green checked shorts that i couldnt fit one leg in anymore but would be too embarrassed to wear them bc they were THAT SHORT, and my white nikes with the navy and baby blue trim with matching socks. why in the hell did this come to mind.
3. inglorious basterds is amazing. but i think you have to be a tarentino fan to appreciate it. my moving going companion thought it was terrible. but then, they never agree with me on a good movie. all i have to say is go see it. and the scene with the red dress is graphically fantastic.
4. LJ came up today from fairmont to go out to dinner. he knows he can always sucker a free meal out of me. but i gladly do it bc he cracks me up. i'm glad of the relationship i have with some of my family members. he's currently asleep on my couch with the dog, and i cant tell which is snoring louder. we had a lot of fun at dinner, though we sat too close to the back where the waitstaff hang out and got to hear in detail how some of the waiters feel about some chick at table six in the fuck-me heels.
5. here is where i tell you something embarrassing and dumb. you know how some people have weird obsessive compulsive tendencies. well i do too. when i get upset there is a spot on my head that i rub. i've done it for as long as i remember, same spot. the moral of the story is that i've been so stressed/upset lately, i've rubbed the spot bald. its not big by any means, and you cant even see it, but seriously, if you see me touch my head make me stop. i know you officially think i'm batshit crazy, and i probably am. i'd rather have ulcers again. i dont know why i told you people this.
6. work is work, not good not bad. theres so much outside drama that comes into work though, and it poisons the whole environment. it's a hive of scandalous behavior. i have to say, i'm looking more forward to vacation every day. please send good thoughts in the coastal direction though, bc i'm now officially worried we're going to get down there and there will be a hurricane.
7. there was a robbery in the trailerhood recently, and this is the first time i've ever felt unsafe to live here. and i hate that. i have the dog, and she can sound mean when she needs to, but when it came down to it, she'd be happy to see anyone. i'm starting to sleep better, but i dont feel 100% safe. but i guess no one ever is.
8. The Santa Clause is on. this is bc LJ is asleep on the remote.
9. so lets face it. i'm afraid to make major life choices. i'm afraid of hurting people, afraid of letting people down, mostly afraid of putting all my eggs in one basket when the baskets been known to have holes. the easy way out is not always the easy way out. To quote Rob from High Fidelity, "I've been listening to my gut since i was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."
10. i just sat here for 20 minutes trying to think of a tenth thing to say so that i wouldnt end on an odd number.
1. i suppose i should get it out first. for those of you who know leah, she needs your thoughts, as does her new husband lukas. lukas was just diagnosed with classic hodgkins lymphoma yesterday. he's 30, i think. from what they understand thus far, there are good chances with chemo and radiation that he will be fine. it's several places in his body though. i dont know more details than this at the time. this terrifies me, just as it does when anyone my age, no, anyone at all has health scares like this. i dont understand why this happened to them now, when they've only been married, what, 4 months? i mean, yes, i am sure it helps him to have her there to support him. it just all makes me angry. it makes me angry bc it reminds me of what a thin line i walk.
2. i have no idea why, but i was sitting at work the other day and remembered what i wore to my first day of high school. why is this important? it's not. but it was one of those random moments where i could picture it in my head. getting off the school bus and walking into school. i had my army green jansport backpack, my grey o'neil tshirt with the awesome dragon on the back that i later gave to olivia bc she borrowed it all the time, these awesome blue and green checked shorts that i couldnt fit one leg in anymore but would be too embarrassed to wear them bc they were THAT SHORT, and my white nikes with the navy and baby blue trim with matching socks. why in the hell did this come to mind.
3. inglorious basterds is amazing. but i think you have to be a tarentino fan to appreciate it. my moving going companion thought it was terrible. but then, they never agree with me on a good movie. all i have to say is go see it. and the scene with the red dress is graphically fantastic.
4. LJ came up today from fairmont to go out to dinner. he knows he can always sucker a free meal out of me. but i gladly do it bc he cracks me up. i'm glad of the relationship i have with some of my family members. he's currently asleep on my couch with the dog, and i cant tell which is snoring louder. we had a lot of fun at dinner, though we sat too close to the back where the waitstaff hang out and got to hear in detail how some of the waiters feel about some chick at table six in the fuck-me heels.
5. here is where i tell you something embarrassing and dumb. you know how some people have weird obsessive compulsive tendencies. well i do too. when i get upset there is a spot on my head that i rub. i've done it for as long as i remember, same spot. the moral of the story is that i've been so stressed/upset lately, i've rubbed the spot bald. its not big by any means, and you cant even see it, but seriously, if you see me touch my head make me stop. i know you officially think i'm batshit crazy, and i probably am. i'd rather have ulcers again. i dont know why i told you people this.
6. work is work, not good not bad. theres so much outside drama that comes into work though, and it poisons the whole environment. it's a hive of scandalous behavior. i have to say, i'm looking more forward to vacation every day. please send good thoughts in the coastal direction though, bc i'm now officially worried we're going to get down there and there will be a hurricane.
7. there was a robbery in the trailerhood recently, and this is the first time i've ever felt unsafe to live here. and i hate that. i have the dog, and she can sound mean when she needs to, but when it came down to it, she'd be happy to see anyone. i'm starting to sleep better, but i dont feel 100% safe. but i guess no one ever is.
8. The Santa Clause is on. this is bc LJ is asleep on the remote.
9. so lets face it. i'm afraid to make major life choices. i'm afraid of hurting people, afraid of letting people down, mostly afraid of putting all my eggs in one basket when the baskets been known to have holes. the easy way out is not always the easy way out. To quote Rob from High Fidelity, "I've been listening to my gut since i was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."
10. i just sat here for 20 minutes trying to think of a tenth thing to say so that i wouldnt end on an odd number.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
boredom and books
it's been a lazy day, too much of a thinking day really. so to put my mind on other things, i picked out books for my vacation. even if i dont like a book, books cant let me down. anyway. back to the books before i go on a tangent about ppl making the obviously wrong choices and me being hurt...
the books i ordered are (and cheap, thanks to amazon marketplace. i got all of them plus shipping for 30 bucks):
"Women in Evidence" -Sebastien Japrisot
"The Call of the Wild" -Jack London
"The Sunne In Splendour: A Novel of Richard III" -Sharon Kay Penman
"The Other Queen: A Novel" -Philippa Gregory
"Gone with the Wind" -Margaret Mitchell
"Martha Washington: An American Life" -Patricia Brady
"Innocent Traitor: A Novel of Lady Jane Grey" -Alison Weir
and yes. i do realize exactly how nerdy that book list is. but. might as well embrace what i am. which leads me to my next topic. a list of things that i've yet to say about myself. why a list? bc i'm bored and you're still reading.
1. i hate the color purple. i reestablished this when i was shopping. purple is the 'hot color' this season. it makes me angry. if you look in my closet i have one purple tanktop. my mother finds this hilarious because apparently around age 3-4 i would ONLY wear purple. frilly ruffly purple with frilly socks and patent leather shoes and my big coke bottle sunglasses. i think i would like to meet my 3 year old self.
2. even though i rarely wear makeup anymore unless its a special occasion or i have woken up extra early for work, i dont feel like i'm put together and look nice without mascara and eye liner. if you look in my bathroom right now you'd probably find at least 8 different mascaras and an equal number of different color eyeliners. i have absolutely no idea why this is.
3. i will fight for things i believe in even when i know i'm going to lose. i'll hold on to the hope that things will change right up to the last second even though i should know better. and ususally, i should always know better.
4. i would wear cardigan sweaters every day if i could. i have no idea why this is, bc they make me look like an old lady.
5. i love s'mores made the right way which is over a campfire and you take the time to get them golden all over. if you burn them its just not the same. although, you have to eat just one burnt one to really eat s'mores.
6. i'm afraid the things i want in life are always going to be out of reach.
7. i'm afraid of the dark. this is very embarrassing to me. i have a big thing about needing to feel safe and that is a big problem in the dark. i like storms until they knock out my power. and then i freak out. i'm such a weener.
there are too many movies on tv that i dont want to watch.
the books i ordered are (and cheap, thanks to amazon marketplace. i got all of them plus shipping for 30 bucks):
"Women in Evidence" -Sebastien Japrisot
"The Call of the Wild" -Jack London
"The Sunne In Splendour: A Novel of Richard III" -Sharon Kay Penman
"The Other Queen: A Novel" -Philippa Gregory
"Gone with the Wind" -Margaret Mitchell
"Martha Washington: An American Life" -Patricia Brady
"Innocent Traitor: A Novel of Lady Jane Grey" -Alison Weir
and yes. i do realize exactly how nerdy that book list is. but. might as well embrace what i am. which leads me to my next topic. a list of things that i've yet to say about myself. why a list? bc i'm bored and you're still reading.
1. i hate the color purple. i reestablished this when i was shopping. purple is the 'hot color' this season. it makes me angry. if you look in my closet i have one purple tanktop. my mother finds this hilarious because apparently around age 3-4 i would ONLY wear purple. frilly ruffly purple with frilly socks and patent leather shoes and my big coke bottle sunglasses. i think i would like to meet my 3 year old self.
2. even though i rarely wear makeup anymore unless its a special occasion or i have woken up extra early for work, i dont feel like i'm put together and look nice without mascara and eye liner. if you look in my bathroom right now you'd probably find at least 8 different mascaras and an equal number of different color eyeliners. i have absolutely no idea why this is.
3. i will fight for things i believe in even when i know i'm going to lose. i'll hold on to the hope that things will change right up to the last second even though i should know better. and ususally, i should always know better.
4. i would wear cardigan sweaters every day if i could. i have no idea why this is, bc they make me look like an old lady.
5. i love s'mores made the right way which is over a campfire and you take the time to get them golden all over. if you burn them its just not the same. although, you have to eat just one burnt one to really eat s'mores.
6. i'm afraid the things i want in life are always going to be out of reach.
7. i'm afraid of the dark. this is very embarrassing to me. i have a big thing about needing to feel safe and that is a big problem in the dark. i like storms until they knock out my power. and then i freak out. i'm such a weener.
there are too many movies on tv that i dont want to watch.
That Was When I Ruled the World
I've probably said this before, but i have a not-so-secret secret embarrassing love for Coldplay. It is tragically uncool to like Coldplay, but i've never really been capable at pulling off 'hip.' But I have this theory, that there is a Coldplay song, much like there is a Beatles or Ben Folds (Five) song, that can define any moment in you're life. and sometimes you'll go on to remember it for that reason in that moment in time.
anyway. lately i've had 2 songs stuck in my brain rotation. Violet Hill when I'm feeling down, and Viva la Via when I'm feeling up. Viva la Vida obviously gets a much more.... energetic (spastic) type of dancing out of me. Picture if you will me jumping around on my bed in my underwear screaming the lyrics along with chris martin, only to forget i have a ceiling fan and bashing my scub on one of the blades. yes. that was my morning about half an hour ago. if i didnt tell you embarrassing things, what would you do for entertainment all day.
anyway.
i am sick of this damn rain. sure we needed it. blah blah blah. it causes me to feel grey all over.
the dog is staring at me. i should go be productive. and by productive i mean put her outside and then go lay on the couch.
anyway. lately i've had 2 songs stuck in my brain rotation. Violet Hill when I'm feeling down, and Viva la Via when I'm feeling up. Viva la Vida obviously gets a much more.... energetic (spastic) type of dancing out of me. Picture if you will me jumping around on my bed in my underwear screaming the lyrics along with chris martin, only to forget i have a ceiling fan and bashing my scub on one of the blades. yes. that was my morning about half an hour ago. if i didnt tell you embarrassing things, what would you do for entertainment all day.
anyway.
i am sick of this damn rain. sure we needed it. blah blah blah. it causes me to feel grey all over.
the dog is staring at me. i should go be productive. and by productive i mean put her outside and then go lay on the couch.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
groundhog day.
so i was thinking over the last year, about how things have changed and all, but then suddenly, they are right back to square one. it's like i'm in Groundhog Day, only i'm not as funny as bill murray. and i really thought i wouldnt be back here again. and i do not like it. i want the last couple weeks to maybe just dissappear. would that be ok?
all the college kids are moving back and i'm sad that i'm not in class. i've said this before. i dont really know what the upcoming year of work is going to bring. i dont know what the upcoming year of life is going to bring. i'd know what i'd like to happen, but. we cant always get what we want. and i could write a book on that.
and i've been looking at my goal list. i've really been slacking on that one. i'll take my trip with mom next month, so that will be good. and this months veggie was okra. it has no taste. but maybe that's bc it was friend. (still counts!!) and i watched Platoon and The Apartment. i need to work on the books more.
so things i'd like to do soon. tattoo. i know. i've said that for how many years now? but i feel like it might almost be the right time. i'll see how these next few weeks play out.
does anyone have any good book recommendations? i need stuff to take to read on vacation.
love love.
all the college kids are moving back and i'm sad that i'm not in class. i've said this before. i dont really know what the upcoming year of work is going to bring. i dont know what the upcoming year of life is going to bring. i'd know what i'd like to happen, but. we cant always get what we want. and i could write a book on that.
and i've been looking at my goal list. i've really been slacking on that one. i'll take my trip with mom next month, so that will be good. and this months veggie was okra. it has no taste. but maybe that's bc it was friend. (still counts!!) and i watched Platoon and The Apartment. i need to work on the books more.
so things i'd like to do soon. tattoo. i know. i've said that for how many years now? but i feel like it might almost be the right time. i'll see how these next few weeks play out.
does anyone have any good book recommendations? i need stuff to take to read on vacation.
love love.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
doing my part to help the economy
so i went shopping with momma yesterday. and said goodbye to my paycheck. but, being my mother's daughter, i found many many good deals. plus it was nice to spend the day with mom. shopping is one of few things we can successfully do together and get along nicely. in fact, mom is a bad influence. she talked me into buying this:
do i need it, no. but it was on mega-sale, it's my birthstone, i have my work bonus, it's a bday gift to myself (i'm really trying to justify this so i dont feel like an asshole) and... well.. it's pretty. it's very un-andrea in style. i've never owned anything this... girly? flashy? in my life. but i've been thinking about buying myself a nice piece of jewelry for awhile to commemorate my first year of work, and when i saw this, i just fell in love with it. i'm sure something will come up that i'll need the money i spent on it for something else, or my evil dog will eat it, but. it was just one of those days where i wanted to feel girly and pretty and stylish. i'm sure this will pass and i will go back to my uni-sex plaid flannel ripped up jeans angsty self soon enough.
also, as of yesterday, mom has invited herself on my vacation to the beach next month. dad and my uncles are going on a men-only motorcycle trip down the blueridge parkway, and mom, being spiteful (and you wonder where i get it. remind me to tell you the story of how my parents got married...) decided she was going to take her OWN trip. which turned into going on my trip. which actually i'm ok with bc 1) she'll pay half on the beach house and gasoline 2) i wont have to drive all that way by myself and 3) she's good at leaving me alone when i want to be left alone and knows when i need human interaction. so i can still sit on the beach with my stack of books, but now wont have to be that lonely girl eating dinner alone in the corner booth. and i do hate being that lonely girl. if anyone feels like coming, you're still more than welcome. its sept 12-19. i'm looking forward to walking in the mornings, looking for seaglass. i've been reading too many pirate histories again.
as we speak, my dog is doing the unthinkable: sleeping while it's still daylight. she's friggin adorable when she's not chewing something up.
school starts soon for everyone, and i've been thinking about how much i miss it again. i dont know if its the actual school part that i miss, though i do love learning about things... but i think more its the being able to spend tie with people my age. at least now i have a couple friends at work, but it's not the same as sitting in a classroom, by far. mom says i should go back to school, but at this point i just can't justify putting myself even further in debt for something that would probably be useless.
my internet keeps cutting out and it's making me mad. i spent 20 minutes trying to et ahold of a representative and half an hour trying to figure out whats wrong. they dont know, so they're sending someone out tomorrow. for now, it's working. so i'm not going to complain tooooo much.
and it's starting to storm. great.
work is starting to get nuts again. i'm going to need that vacation more than ever in the coming month. i do know though that some of it will be announced to the public at some point in the near future. vague enough?? good.
ok. my sunburnt self is about to go watch tv. much love from my general direction.
do i need it, no. but it was on mega-sale, it's my birthstone, i have my work bonus, it's a bday gift to myself (i'm really trying to justify this so i dont feel like an asshole) and... well.. it's pretty. it's very un-andrea in style. i've never owned anything this... girly? flashy? in my life. but i've been thinking about buying myself a nice piece of jewelry for awhile to commemorate my first year of work, and when i saw this, i just fell in love with it. i'm sure something will come up that i'll need the money i spent on it for something else, or my evil dog will eat it, but. it was just one of those days where i wanted to feel girly and pretty and stylish. i'm sure this will pass and i will go back to my uni-sex plaid flannel ripped up jeans angsty self soon enough.
also, as of yesterday, mom has invited herself on my vacation to the beach next month. dad and my uncles are going on a men-only motorcycle trip down the blueridge parkway, and mom, being spiteful (and you wonder where i get it. remind me to tell you the story of how my parents got married...) decided she was going to take her OWN trip. which turned into going on my trip. which actually i'm ok with bc 1) she'll pay half on the beach house and gasoline 2) i wont have to drive all that way by myself and 3) she's good at leaving me alone when i want to be left alone and knows when i need human interaction. so i can still sit on the beach with my stack of books, but now wont have to be that lonely girl eating dinner alone in the corner booth. and i do hate being that lonely girl. if anyone feels like coming, you're still more than welcome. its sept 12-19. i'm looking forward to walking in the mornings, looking for seaglass. i've been reading too many pirate histories again.
as we speak, my dog is doing the unthinkable: sleeping while it's still daylight. she's friggin adorable when she's not chewing something up.
school starts soon for everyone, and i've been thinking about how much i miss it again. i dont know if its the actual school part that i miss, though i do love learning about things... but i think more its the being able to spend tie with people my age. at least now i have a couple friends at work, but it's not the same as sitting in a classroom, by far. mom says i should go back to school, but at this point i just can't justify putting myself even further in debt for something that would probably be useless.
my internet keeps cutting out and it's making me mad. i spent 20 minutes trying to et ahold of a representative and half an hour trying to figure out whats wrong. they dont know, so they're sending someone out tomorrow. for now, it's working. so i'm not going to complain tooooo much.
and it's starting to storm. great.
work is starting to get nuts again. i'm going to need that vacation more than ever in the coming month. i do know though that some of it will be announced to the public at some point in the near future. vague enough?? good.
ok. my sunburnt self is about to go watch tv. much love from my general direction.
Friday, August 14, 2009
and for a minute, i was a rockstar
not really. but look at how cool my hair was. Since that time, being my sunbaby self, it turned, dare i say it.... blonde. andi is not a blonde, folks. so it is now back to plain ol' one color brown. my rockstar minute was fun and all. but deep down, i accept and embrace my losernessnessness.
also, can i just say i am now addicted to bubble tea? i drive past this place all the time but only recently have tried it, thanks to my crazy coworkers. it's delicious. you should go. i'll go with you. it will be a date.
anyway. hi. how are you? i hope well. it has felt like the longest week in the history of time and i am so incredibly glad it is friday. i woke up in an 80 bajllion percent better mood than i had the past four days. not all of it was to do with work, surely, but still. i'm excited that momma mia is coming up tomorrow and we're going shopping. i'm officially boring however since i've already planned what purchases i need to make for work. oh well. it will still be a good day.
so my car died on monday. i feel like i should change this blog to 'things that go wrong with my automobile.' i was all proud of myself going to zumba and not dying in the rockette-style high kick portion of the class, and was taking lish home when i decided i didnt feel like cooking that i would get delicious DQ chicken strips. i go do this and when returning to the car... nothin. the keys wont even come out. there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. luckily jason is a carwhiz and got me in order with a new battery. when the warrenty says 3-5 years, you should not expect on the larger number. mine made it 3 years and 2 months. *shakes fist*
i dont really have anything else to talk about. i just wanted to kill some time. say hello. let you know i've not dropped off the planet.
so ok. have a good weekend yall.
Monday, August 10, 2009
nerd alert
just an fyi. its perseids meteor shower time again. btwn midnight and 4am on the 12th is key watching time. it will be many nights before and after, but that apparently is peak. so go watch.
this made me realize that this time last year i was at the beach, watching the olympics, and dreading starting my new job. a lot has happened in this one year. i'll have to stew on it and get back to you later.
this made me realize that this time last year i was at the beach, watching the olympics, and dreading starting my new job. a lot has happened in this one year. i'll have to stew on it and get back to you later.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Takin a Note from Ben Folds and Covering My Redneck Ass
can i just say that it's too hot outside? i mean really? lets just put that out there and get it over with.
so. home this weekend. it was magical. and by magical i mean it reminded me why i'm glad i will never live in braxton county under my own free will again. i could not handle that lifestyle again. too small town, too many ppl in everyone elses business. shitty chinese food. you couldn't pay me to spend more than a weekend.
anyway. the family reunion was today. which means yesterday mammaw was in freak out cleaning mode. i did things like... polish the washer and dryer. and bleach the top of the trashcan. and dust that 2 inch crack of space btwn the fridge and the cabinets. if anyone but mammaw had asked me to do something like this, i'd call them crazy. but, i'd do anything for mammaw. hell. i probably would move home if she needed me to. but we got her already spotless house extra spotless, and got paid off in garden food, which i for one will not ever turn down.
then she made us go visit aunt grace in the nursing home, which absolutely breaks my heart. aunt grace is mammaws aunt, so she's pretty much older than jesus. she used to be one of my particular favorite relatives. now she doesnt know me at all and i had to introduce myself and remind her who i was several times in the 2 hrs we visited. she tried to get me to spring her out of her 'jail' but luckily she forgot who i was right before i left. this is the part of getting older that scares me. i dont know what i'm going to do when mammaw doesn't know who i am. that will absolutely kill me.
but happier thoughts. laura and i decided since we were home, we had to go to the county fair. let me state here and now i've not been to the fair in probably 4 years, and even then i was probably intoxicated. but sober we went. and you always forget how many people come to this bc it's (sadly) the biggest thing in the tri-county area. we had to park in a field out past the mudbog. oh yes. i said mudbog. so we decided we were going to be badasses and ride the rides. only, everyone else had the same idea. we stood in line for the first and last ride we experienced for over an hour. granted that hour gave us ample time to oogle strangers. let me just say that in a tshirt and jeans, i was overdresses. i am fascinated by the number of people who are cool with playing up the hillbilly stereotype. the ride however was fun. thats the best i can say for it. some country music, a funnel cake, and running into some people i hadnt seen in years including my elementary best friend and his 3 kids, and i was more than ready to go home. but rememeber, we parked out in the bog. and everyone else decided it would be a good idea to leave when we did. we got in teh car at 1030 and i got home at 1am. on an average day, this drive would take 12 minutes tops. it did give me time to catch up with laura, which i am greatful for, but damn. it should not take that long to go home.
so family reunion day. hot. disgustingly hot. i'm going to melt hot. but oooh good food. i'm ok with putting up with crazy people asking me why i'm not married and am i ok with the fact that laura will be married before i will be as long as i have my grandma's green beans and a hot roll. but btwn the heat, my family, and whatever it is at home that i'm allergic to, i had/have/feel like i will have forever a splitting headache. i was very glad to get back to my tiny hole in the air conditioning. i think the evil dog is too, bc she's been asleep all evening in the chair right infront of the air vent. and i may or may not have watched Mamma Mia for the eighty four thousandth time. and i love ABBA. and i love this song most of all. plus it helps with all the mens in swimming trunks...
anyway. my brain hurts. and not just from my headache.
meh.
so. home this weekend. it was magical. and by magical i mean it reminded me why i'm glad i will never live in braxton county under my own free will again. i could not handle that lifestyle again. too small town, too many ppl in everyone elses business. shitty chinese food. you couldn't pay me to spend more than a weekend.
anyway. the family reunion was today. which means yesterday mammaw was in freak out cleaning mode. i did things like... polish the washer and dryer. and bleach the top of the trashcan. and dust that 2 inch crack of space btwn the fridge and the cabinets. if anyone but mammaw had asked me to do something like this, i'd call them crazy. but, i'd do anything for mammaw. hell. i probably would move home if she needed me to. but we got her already spotless house extra spotless, and got paid off in garden food, which i for one will not ever turn down.
then she made us go visit aunt grace in the nursing home, which absolutely breaks my heart. aunt grace is mammaws aunt, so she's pretty much older than jesus. she used to be one of my particular favorite relatives. now she doesnt know me at all and i had to introduce myself and remind her who i was several times in the 2 hrs we visited. she tried to get me to spring her out of her 'jail' but luckily she forgot who i was right before i left. this is the part of getting older that scares me. i dont know what i'm going to do when mammaw doesn't know who i am. that will absolutely kill me.
but happier thoughts. laura and i decided since we were home, we had to go to the county fair. let me state here and now i've not been to the fair in probably 4 years, and even then i was probably intoxicated. but sober we went. and you always forget how many people come to this bc it's (sadly) the biggest thing in the tri-county area. we had to park in a field out past the mudbog. oh yes. i said mudbog. so we decided we were going to be badasses and ride the rides. only, everyone else had the same idea. we stood in line for the first and last ride we experienced for over an hour. granted that hour gave us ample time to oogle strangers. let me just say that in a tshirt and jeans, i was overdresses. i am fascinated by the number of people who are cool with playing up the hillbilly stereotype. the ride however was fun. thats the best i can say for it. some country music, a funnel cake, and running into some people i hadnt seen in years including my elementary best friend and his 3 kids, and i was more than ready to go home. but rememeber, we parked out in the bog. and everyone else decided it would be a good idea to leave when we did. we got in teh car at 1030 and i got home at 1am. on an average day, this drive would take 12 minutes tops. it did give me time to catch up with laura, which i am greatful for, but damn. it should not take that long to go home.
so family reunion day. hot. disgustingly hot. i'm going to melt hot. but oooh good food. i'm ok with putting up with crazy people asking me why i'm not married and am i ok with the fact that laura will be married before i will be as long as i have my grandma's green beans and a hot roll. but btwn the heat, my family, and whatever it is at home that i'm allergic to, i had/have/feel like i will have forever a splitting headache. i was very glad to get back to my tiny hole in the air conditioning. i think the evil dog is too, bc she's been asleep all evening in the chair right infront of the air vent. and i may or may not have watched Mamma Mia for the eighty four thousandth time. and i love ABBA. and i love this song most of all. plus it helps with all the mens in swimming trunks...
anyway. my brain hurts. and not just from my headache.
meh.
Friday, August 7, 2009
ups and downs
you know when you are really enjoying things and you actually forget that you expect the bottom to drop out and then suddenly it does? only this time you have a safety net but part of you wants to go ahead and let it drop just to see where the bottom goes when it drops out? but theres a good chance theres nothing at the bottom bc theres never been at the bottom and what are you going to do but climb back out again?
do i sound extra crazy today? bc i feel it.
i'm home. which is a good thing. bc when i'm home, i'm the least crazy around.
the county fair is this weekend. it used to be so much fun. now to go to things like that is like seeing your childhood die. at least you can get a funnel cake.
do i sound extra crazy today? bc i feel it.
i'm home. which is a good thing. bc when i'm home, i'm the least crazy around.
the county fair is this weekend. it used to be so much fun. now to go to things like that is like seeing your childhood die. at least you can get a funnel cake.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Feeling Kinda Proud
So you know all that overtime I've been putting in lately? Well, now you get to read about it.
Sometimes, I may just feel a little bit proud of myself for the tiny tiny part I play in the grand scheme of things.
It's a good day!
Sometimes, I may just feel a little bit proud of myself for the tiny tiny part I play in the grand scheme of things.
It's a good day!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
It's Only Forever, Not Long at All
It's absolutely beautiful outside. I woke up at 8 and immediately grabbed a book and my bathing suit and went out to greet the day. I'm only typing this now bc it's getting hot and I needed to come cool off. But back out I will go, like the sun baby I am. On days like to day I am reminded why I love the outdoors and could never be happy in a place without wide open spaces, trees, and the wonderful sunshine.
I had a crazy dream last night that woke me up in one of those cold sweat fears for the next decade of my life. Let's do some backstory by saying that over the years, i have jokingly promised not one, but three different people that I will run away and marry them if i've not married anyone by the time i'm 35, for companionship, someone to do the yardwork, and tax purposes. I hope that in the next decade I can find some kind of real adult life outside of this college town, but if not, it's fun to have this kind of joke. until i have crazy dreams where i am at the grocery store and my friend runs up to me and reminds me that it's my 35th birthday and i'm getting married that evening and do i know that mom has planned it all? somehow i end up at a church that looks like a glorified tiki hut that is covered in disgustingly pink bows, with bridesmaids and flower girls i dont know in hot pink ho-attire, and my dress being a black number with ruffles. RUFFLES I TELL YOU. this all put me in a cold sweat, in dreams and real life. so somehow i walked down the makeshift aisle and when i got to the front, i guess i saw whoever it was but i honestly dont know who it was, and i woke myself up saying, 'oh jesus fucking hell.' that is verbatim as confirmed by another source present at the time. so now that we've established that i'm crazy, hate the color pink and ruffles, i've got up to ten years to figure that shit out. no pressure. NO PRESSURE.
and now for a random assortment of things.
1. i am more polite to fast food workers than i am any other customer service type employee. i dont know why this is other than i imagine that they put up with some real assholes. i always make sure to say please, thank you, and have a wonderful day.
2. i like the smell of morning the best. when its starting to get warm but it still smells lie the dew.
3. i broke my bottle of perfume and am sad bc i liked it and also bc my sandels happened to be in the bottles path and now smells like overpowering whore. and also gasoline, bc that shit still hasn't washed off.
4. i'm going out on the lake today on a boat and i think that makes this day damn near perfect. i still think i would be one happy kitten if i could live on a boat all the time.
5. i've not been sleeping well lately, for multiple reasons. but this isn't uncommon for me, now is it?
6. i miss my grandmother's pepperoni rolls.
7. i have to leave the shower curtain pulled back all the way when i'm not in it bc i'm convinced a murdering rapist is going to be hiding behind it if i'm not careful. (emphasizing the crazy today.)
8. being little spoon makes me feel safe. and that's more important than anything.
I had a crazy dream last night that woke me up in one of those cold sweat fears for the next decade of my life. Let's do some backstory by saying that over the years, i have jokingly promised not one, but three different people that I will run away and marry them if i've not married anyone by the time i'm 35, for companionship, someone to do the yardwork, and tax purposes. I hope that in the next decade I can find some kind of real adult life outside of this college town, but if not, it's fun to have this kind of joke. until i have crazy dreams where i am at the grocery store and my friend runs up to me and reminds me that it's my 35th birthday and i'm getting married that evening and do i know that mom has planned it all? somehow i end up at a church that looks like a glorified tiki hut that is covered in disgustingly pink bows, with bridesmaids and flower girls i dont know in hot pink ho-attire, and my dress being a black number with ruffles. RUFFLES I TELL YOU. this all put me in a cold sweat, in dreams and real life. so somehow i walked down the makeshift aisle and when i got to the front, i guess i saw whoever it was but i honestly dont know who it was, and i woke myself up saying, 'oh jesus fucking hell.' that is verbatim as confirmed by another source present at the time. so now that we've established that i'm crazy, hate the color pink and ruffles, i've got up to ten years to figure that shit out. no pressure. NO PRESSURE.
and now for a random assortment of things.
1. i am more polite to fast food workers than i am any other customer service type employee. i dont know why this is other than i imagine that they put up with some real assholes. i always make sure to say please, thank you, and have a wonderful day.
2. i like the smell of morning the best. when its starting to get warm but it still smells lie the dew.
3. i broke my bottle of perfume and am sad bc i liked it and also bc my sandels happened to be in the bottles path and now smells like overpowering whore. and also gasoline, bc that shit still hasn't washed off.
4. i'm going out on the lake today on a boat and i think that makes this day damn near perfect. i still think i would be one happy kitten if i could live on a boat all the time.
5. i've not been sleeping well lately, for multiple reasons. but this isn't uncommon for me, now is it?
6. i miss my grandmother's pepperoni rolls.
7. i have to leave the shower curtain pulled back all the way when i'm not in it bc i'm convinced a murdering rapist is going to be hiding behind it if i'm not careful. (emphasizing the crazy today.)
8. being little spoon makes me feel safe. and that's more important than anything.
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