love, feel, life

i did one of those things that generates the words you tweet the most and shows you a 'cloud' of them and whatever. and the top 3 words i used in the last year are 'love, feel, life.'

i find this very interesting. i know i didnt always use them in that context, but those three words mean very much to me.

so i have less than 24 hours to make my job decision and it terrifies me. i am leaning in one direction but i don't know if that is the right direction. please send positive thoughts in my direction so that i can make this decision wisely. because i am scared.

so thanksgiving was interesting. it wasn't what we've traditionally had, and that made me sad. i think christmas has also officially gone bottoms up as well. I can't help but think of National Lampoons Christmas Vacation where the mother character announces "it's christmas and we're all in misery." i'm going to try and make it the best holiday season i can, but already it feels like many things in my life are missing.

i did at least have a fun time at the cafe last night with friends and family. that place is one of few places now in sutton that you can feel life coming back into the town. and hearing leah sing is always a treat.

so. thats all i can post right now bc i have to go back to giving myself an ulcer over this job thing. i'll be sure to let you know tomorrow what my decision is.

gulp.

And even more photos.

I'm pretty sure I need those sunglasses now.


Checking the threadcount of the sheets. Clearly they please me.


Laura, Michael, me, L.J. Super jealous of laura's jelly shoes.


Kindergarten graduation, complete with construction paper cap.



Why no, there is not sunscreen on that baby. Who's payin for that now.....


Apparently I went through this 3 month phase where I'd only wear this purple tutu. I had such excellent fashion sense in the late 80s.


Lets all take a moment to snicker at Laura's cap.


Number 8973423 of things I wanted to be when I was little that I never did when I was older. a table dancer? uh no.


I asked mom if we just didnt have a hairbrush in the 80s. I got THE LOOK. I kinda like the photo though. I'm forever disheveled.

This is me, michael, dad, pappaw, and pappaw's mom. i dont remember much about granny ware except that she had this jar of hard candy that she'd never let me touch bc I WOULD SURELY CHOKE AND DIE.


Christmas play probably '89. i'm over on the right beside mammaw. laura is sitting in the middle looking pensive. grandma ruth is on the top left.

because those acid wash jeans demand adequate attention.


Michael will karate chop you into the next town. But will cry if you take away super mario brothers.



Look at that classy snowman. complete with bandana. Look at the collie in the background. I loooved that dog and someday when I have a yard of worth I want to get another collie. They are the best, most understanding pets on earth.


Fishing at the damn dam. I think this was the last time i went fishing until college. I seem to be putting on a brave face. Michael is reelin in the big one.

Lots More Photos

Can I help you? Thats got to be what I'm thinkin in this photo. Here's some more photos. Andrea before the BANGS.

I wish i had a bathing suit like this now.
Laura, Me, Michael. Laura does not look pleased.
Michael before he got his hair cut bc my grandpa said he looked like a girl, Laura (i swear we didnt go around making her cry all the time), and me with my first pair of glasses.
My Supergirl pajamas. WITH DETACHABLE CAPE. let me just tell you i loved this and wore it alll the time.
Me with that stupid grin, michael, and Laura not crying. though she does look kinda evil.
My aunt would always buy me princess stuff when i was little. I felt like a superstar.
Bert and Ernie 3rd birthday.
One day, mammaw made laura and i fairy crowns. so michael wouldnt be left out, she made him a manly one. kind of an oxymoron, eh? ps dont tell michael i put this on here, he'd murderize me.
Oh no. there are the BANGS. this would have been on the USS North Carolina. I love that battleship.
Me and L.J. It boggles my mind that this chunk of a baby is now a sophomore in college and is taller than me by a good 7 inches.



thats all for today kids. more of my embarrassing past will come soon, i'm sure

still thankful after thanksgiving. with photos!

so i didnt post what i was thankful for yesterday bc i 1)had another (and still do) migraine and even looking at the computer made me want to hurl. if these dont go away soon i'm going to worry i have a brain tumor. 2)was either eating, sleeping, or driving.

that said, brain explosion aside, it was a good day. today was very good too and i picked up the last few things on my shopping list. and everyone elses shopping lists since the men of this family are incompetent.

and waking up to snow! i gotta say, i stood outside in it for just a little bit and enjoyed it. sometimes i really do like snow.

so that said. mom downloaded a bunch of old photos and so i stole them. and since i use this space to embarrass myself on a regular basis, I thought i'd share some of the choice ones with you. apologies ahead of time for my BANGS.



Here you can see Michael and I were very emphatic Star Trek fans. This is in the old house with the god awful wallpaper. This wallpaper is the reason that there is NO WALLPAPER anywhere in this house. enough about the wallpaper. look how scrawny and ridiculous we were.


This is Laura and I being flower girls at my cousin karen's wedding. those are my great grandparents in the background. they'd always let us have coke out of the glass bottles which i thought was the coolest thing ever. i realize how tacky that dress is now but at the time i felt like a princess. i loved that dress.So this is that easter i was telling you about. not the right photo, but you get the idea. i LOVED easter hats. again, i felt super stylish princessy. also note that i make that same terrible smile when i'm not really wanting to smile now. at least now my teeth are a little straighter. and i dont have BANGS. also note michael's bitching sweater.


here's the last time the padre and i got along. (jk. the man owes me some money, i should stay on his good side.) yes. even on a boat, the BANGS DO NOT MOVE. also, dad's shirt is a mouse weight lifting a mouse trap that says 'no pain no gain' i remember thinking this was hilarious. but enough about the shirt, look at my BANGS.

Isn't my evil brother adorable in this photo. That Dick Tracy shirt was his main fashion accessory for the better part of a year. he loved the hell out of that shirt.


And here's the last christmas we were all together, which would have been 4 months before pappaw died. it was a good christmas. the BANGS were a little bit tamer. but i think that lime green vest made up for them.

more photos to come. just you wait.

much lovelove to all of you.

thankful thursday

this post comes to you from the mountain retreat that is home in b.county. the drive home was nice and my favorite moment is always when i step out of the car and see the explosion of the stars in the sky. i feel like my anxieties slow down a little bit when i'm here. but then again, sometimes they dont. so lets hope that they do, eh?

anyway. today, i am thankful for my evil dog.

no, i swear i'm not joking.

this dog and i have taught each other a great deal. she's driven me crazy. she's made me angry. she's caused me to run down my road in a bathrobe. but she's also been a very good companion. she doesnt judge me and she's always happy to see me. even if i dress her up like a mermaid. she's currently asleep on my feet, which is nice since my feet are always cold.

she keeps me entertained. and i am thankful for that.

thankful tuesday

today i'm thankful for the use of my hands. (just go with me here on this one.)

i was informed today, and not for the first time, that i probably wouldnt be able to tell a story if i had my hands tied together. and i admit, when i get talking about things i do get a little... expressive, haha. sometimes i think i am the only outwardly expressive member of my family, although i do very much still specialize in back stabbing and grudge holding.. but that's neither here nor there. i'm being thankful for my hands.

if i didnt have the use of my hands i wouldnt be able to make the things i love. i finished the first nursing home blanket this evening and i realize its small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but i'm very proud of it. i've already picked out this pretty burgundy yarn for the next one which i will start tomorrow AND the yarn for the one after that (navy and cream stripes). and even though i have rubbed my finger tips off with the yarn, i still feel really good for doing this. there is a knitting and crocheting group that meets here in town and i think i'm going to start attending.

if i didnt have the use of my hands i wouldnt be able to do my job. as much as i bitch about it, i do honestly enjoy what i do. i've learned a lot throught my job and i'm glad for it.

if i didnt have the use of my hands, i wouldnt ever be able to hold someones hand. and that is one of those little things that mean a lot to me.

theres a bajillion other things that i'd miss if i didnt have the use of my hands (being able to wipe my own ass, HELLO) and i'm very glad that i have these appendages as part of my life.

especially when i flip you off because i love you.

much lovelove from me to you.

I was thankful monday, but i was without a computer.

So here is a make-up post for monday, bc this is what i would have written.

This one may seem far fetched, but I am thankful for british television. I love love love older shows on the BBC and have since I was little and would stay at Grandma Ruth's house (who is not my grandma but I would claim her in a heartbeat, but thats a story for another day.)

The reasoning goes like this. I was in a bad mood because thanksgiving has been officially hit by the hiroshima bomb, and it quite possibly has taken out christmas too. i dont feel like i should discuss the details here, but it is safe to say i come from a long like of stubborn assholes who hold grudges and always think things are their way or no way (sounds familiar, doesnt it?)

ANYWAY. insert stormcloud over my head and you'll have my evening. but dave promised to fix my computer if i took it over and brought him dinner, which i did. he then proceeded to have me watch a british sitcom that was from the 70s-80s, Are You Being Served? and i laughed til i cried. I think british shows are so much better than our fart joke american shows. the black dry humor, well i get it. Black Books, Blackadder, Green Wing, A Bit of Fry and Laurie, Father Ted, Little Britain, the Office (the real Office!!!), of course Monty Python, i could keep going.

I guess really I should be thankful for Grandma Ruth for introducing me to these shows and instilling my slightly off-kilter sense of humor. I'm thankful for my grandma who isnt my grandma for a lot of reasons.

This post made no sense. But it was very good to end my day in laughter.