I just spent the last two hours at the gym. It's become like a drug. I hate it but it seems your body can only focus on one kind of pain at a time and I'd rather it be productive pain.

Going with lish yesterday really upset me more than I realized. A lot more. And I can't show or tell her that. (she doesn't read this) she has been the one to take me in every Time I need it and I am going to do this for her with a smile on my face. But it is just so very very hard. ESP since they're getting married the weekend I was supposed to be.

I don't know where life is going. I genuinely don't. It scares me and I just don't know.

The only good thing Is I guess I'm becoming a gym rat. Bluh.


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