Bird by bird. that's how i'm taking things. (i guess you'd have to read the book Bird by Bird to understand that)

it very much is a relief that i don't have to worry about my labs. i made a lot of jokes about it but those who know me know how completely terrified i was. i had pretty much resigned myself for the worst, and only hoped for the best.

however. things apparently cant go well for me for very long. for some reason my bank account shows that my rent and electric bill came out, but both are sending me late notices. So i'm goin to have to go battle with the bank i guess to get this fixed. i just do not have the energy for that. it makes me want to cry.

i'm not exaggerating at the crying part. i had a moment today where i just felt sorry for myself. and i know it's stupid. but valentines day is coming up and its just really hard. things are so very different from this time last year. i didnt notice it but i still had the card that came with my flowers from valentines day last year up on my fridge. it's so strange to read it and see how very very different things are now. did those words mean what they said? why dont they mean thatnow? this year makes me want to sleep.

i'm not an evil bitch.

anyway. nevermind. just whining.