Wednesday, January 6, 2010

um

so my sleeping is getting stranger and stranger. i dont remember what i dreamed but i woke up sitting up and gasping for air. i'm 82% sure i was choking. and that is one of my top ten biggest fears. (thats a blog for another morbid day, but dying alone is #1 fear and all other fears seem to somehow connect into that.) after i finally got back to sleep i had even crazier dreams. i usually only dream this intensely when i take sleeping medicine but i was a drug free kiddo yesterday. i cant even put it all together. at one point i was lost in the woods. and at another point i had to find a phone bc i was waiting for a very important phone call only everything was keeping me from finding the phone. i dont know. its all a swirl now.

i feel sick today, and everything is a little off kilter. i'm trying to think positive.. my new laptop is supposed to be here today. good thoughts. good thoughts.

love love.

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