I am Asneeze

it's going to snow soon, i'm getting a migraine. What terrible medicinal concoction can i come up with this time?

so i went to a meeting today at that government place i work for. everyone wants to know when we will get our offices. turns out it might be even longer now bc someone forgot to order our computers.

how does one forget to order 100 computers? it boggles the mind.

so i was reading CRJ's blog, which you should check out sometime bc it's much more interesting to read than this drivel, you can find it here. and he is doing a year in review of 2009. and i thought, maybe i should have me one of those too. but the more i thought about it it would go like this:

i worked. i was busy and then bored. busy and then bored. i almost took another job but didnt. sometimes i question that decision.

i made new friends. some have come and gone, and some are completely amazing and i'm a billion times thankful for them in my life. some i've never even met face to face but i appreciate them so very much for the positive energy they bring into my life.

and then The Situation. the situation has been a continual shit cycle. i start to be ok-ish, it comes back. i get my hopes up even though i have sworn i wont again, only to be (surprise!) let down and disappointed and depressed all over, only to swear i'll never do it again, only to repeat it all. joel tells me the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and over and thinking there would be a different outcome. looks like i've been a nut job for quite some time. part of me still wants to find that magic word combo to fix everything. but the other part of me realizes i've dealt with more than my fair share of bullshit and should have some saint or at least a street named after me for putting up with such garbage. sometimes i thought if i put up with it long enough, it'd be fixed and i'd live that happily ever after that everyone deserves. as it turns out, prince charming is a coward. and a liar.

a high point is the charities i have helped, and that makes me feel good. The Children's hospital, the relay for life, the heifer international foundation, the salvation army kids, that guy in NY who drives a bus but feeds the homeless everyday on the side. i know there have been several more since i try to do at least one a month, but those are the ones off the top of my head. if i cant fix things in my own life at least i can help out other people.

so that was my 2009. there's going to be good changes this year. bc i demand it. things are going to be fixed in better or completely cut out of my life like getting rid of a tumor. bc i dont need the anger and hurt to grow any further than it already has.

so there's that.