sorry for the emo post earlier. i live in an emotional swamp. or maybe more like the princess of the land of stench. (Mumble mumble mumble! You're a wonderful conversational companion!)
so. i didnt get out of bed til noon, and the sun is out and its so nice outside and when i went out earlier it just smelled like.... well, like hope. i love the smell of sunshine more than anything in this whole world. yet somehow even today i just didnt buy it and i am back in my dark dark living room.
i really am trying.
i just dont recognize myself in the mirror anymore. and not just bc i'm wearing a tshirt that says 'i <3 fat bitches" (referring to the sandwich at that sandwich shop downtown) but bc i dont eve have sad eyes. they are just blank. and the better part of the bottle of vodka i had for dinner last night didnt change that. (dont worry, i wasnt drinking alone. i'm not there yet)
i think my life just needs more cowbell.
since i slept thru shopping today i'm going to have to locate myself some shoes for the party at some point this week. i'm trying to find at least one thing each day to get me out of the house next week, even if it is just going to doctor appts. after barely leaving for the past two months (and theres a side story of irony that i really did end up working remotely for two months to the day) i hve just got to get out.
the stupid iphone is addicting. i like checking the compass to see which direction i am pointing. i am currently facing 53 degrees east. i also have an app for solitaire, motivational quotes, a light saber, the nasa photo of the day, word scramble, and pandora radio. i'm sure there are more nerdy things i have not found yet.
so. ok. again, these posts are going no where. i just need to ramble. one day i swear there will be one full of jokes and laughing and sunshine and good things.
lovelove.
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