step one

do you know how hard mentally it is to change your phone number after youve had it for 9 years. i sat in the car and stared at the store for a good 15 minutes. but i did it. and here is my pretty new phone.
changes make me want to barf. but thats on my list to work on. if. to get further out of the rut i bought that dress you see sorta in the background, for the winter party at the new company. they went ahead and invited me even though i dont start working til the monday after. so i found a very un-andrea dress (WITH SEQUINS) and i think its actually cute. and i'm going on an exploration adventure to find some very un-andrea red heels to go with it.

do i feel better, no not yet. i feel like my chest is caving in. am i medicated yet no not yet. but maybe eventually. do i still want to go hide under the covers in bed, very very very much so. very very.

i had to call my grandmother and tell her i changed my phone number. she thinks i do silly things all the time anyway and didnt ask questions. i'm glad, bc i dont want to have to explain the answers.

it's dreary outside. but. it's winter. and i'm hoping for the spring.