today has been a strange day. mostly bc i'm sore. and for other reasons. serious, if you're reading this, and you know who you care, please call me so I know you aren't dead. i just read this list and i think it's quite wonderful. these are sorta the things i've been working on. i'm genuinely trying to be a better person. it doesn't always work and the mean spiteful andrea comes out or the morose depressed no-future-seeing andrea comes out. and it's hard. but if yesterday showed me anything i can do a lot more than i ever thought i was capable of. i can come up with an arms length of excuses for many things in my life, and all that gets me is more excuses. i was talking to my chiropractor earlier and even in the short amount of time i've been going to see him he's seen a positive change in how i live and act. and it's been an uphill struggle. but if i have come this far, just think how far i can go? i've already committed to doing the warrior dash next year with some work friends, and that gives me a goal to work toward. so many things scare me and it's time i grow up and face them. the DC job didnt happen (we were just finally told) but i'm actually ok with that. I dont feel that need to get up and run away like i did. if i get a job elsewhere great. if not... well. then things are ok for now. i spent so much of this past year trying to better myself for someone else only to realize that i was bettering myself for me. and thats how it should be. and i want everyone to have that. i have a long way to go, mostly with fixing my messed up credit. but thats not the point of this post. i dont know what the point of this post is really. i want everyone to be happy and healthy.