here are some of the official race photos. i look like a goob.

also, shout out to my reader from greenville, mississippi. i have no idea who you are, but you've been reading this a lot lately, so i thought i'd say hello. leave a comment if you'd like. i have no idea why i am awake at nearly 4 am. i've been awake since 2:30. i have no idea what woke me. probably bc i'm already trying to think three steps ahead to figure out what all is left that needs done. i'm going to, hopefully, get out of work early tomorrow and go buy my paint and get that all taken care of. i've got an idea in my head and if it works the way it does in my head, well we'll be in business. reality though, thats another story. i'm kinda bummed bc mark may not get to come to town this weekend for this date we are supposed to go on bc he may have to work. part of me thinks he doesn't exist and is someone that zach has made up to mess with me. i wish i were joking when i said that, but i feel like at this point... anything is possible. mom asked me this evening if i'd heard from z and how he was doing. i just lied and said he's well. she doesn't need to know about all this stuff lately, i don't want her to worry. amanda pointed out that at this point, she is glad i'm moving bc he wont know where i live anymore bc she's afraid he'll just show up someday. i told her she didnt really have to worry about that, he always claimed to be too broke to ever make the trip up to visit me, even though he goes to concerts and drinks expensive beer every day and tried to tell me that he has plenty of savings with which to do both, after the fact of course, after he said he couldn't drive up here. either way, once i am out of this apartment i'm effectively washed of him for good. it's bittersweet, but way too long in the making. if he thinks i'm 'trouble' then i think i probably don't have to worry about him showing up on my doorstep anytime soon. i do still genuinely wish him the best and hope he finds a job soon, one that he actually enjoys. you all think i'm nuts but i know deep down in there he is a good person. he's just scared, of a lot of things, that he just hasnt had the courage to deal with yet. i pray someday he will and will find his own happiness. anyway. i better try to get some sleep or i'm goin to be an asshole tomorrow, more than i normally am. much love and sunshine to everyone out there.