Tentacles. N-T. Big Difference.

are you aware of how damn much it costs to be crazy? i'm sorry, to have generalized anxiety and depression. It sure aint TWO DOLLARS, lane myers. (realizes no one will get that movie reference because i am a loser. moving on...)

so i finally got prescribed drugs to hopefully even my ass out. and to put the icing on the cake they gave me a non-habit forming sleep aid (which is a hell of a lot cheaper, folks.) which i will be taking shortly.

part of me feels like i should be embarrassed writing about this stuff on here, but, i mean shit. i tell you people everything else, i might as well this too. hell, half of you have said i need to be medicated for years now. (joke. but not really.) and, i feel like i always have to say, this isnt me saying i want to be all, 'oh, poor andrea, lets pity her and shower her with chocolate.' although the chocolate woudl be nice. but i just feel like if i talk about it with people who care about me it will make me not so embarrassed and upset about what state i am in whether i like to admit it or not. and i was embarrassed sitting in the doctors office telling yet another stranger about all the crazy things i do and trying not to start crying and trying to keep breathing bc my chest was caving in. it didnt take very long to convince him i needed -something-.

the only person who isnt supportive of this is bert, who's convinced the side effects outweigh the benefits, that i'll become suicidal or worse, a republican (joke. mental changes and bipolar disorder are listed as possible side effects.) i think, though that i would recognize if i was trying to kill myself, and for the other, i've never voted before. why start now. but it really doesnt help at all having him yell at me about how stupid it is that i'm ok with taking medication. it's not that i'm excited about it, its that i just want -something- to work.

i was supposed to go to dinner and have the wonder that is sushi with chris bailes this evening, but it finally decided to really get gross out there, to the point that even i was a little worried to be driving. so home i am. in the grey sweatpants. getting yelled at because i apparently dont care enough about my wellbeing to not take medication.

strange, i thought thats why i went there.

i'm also more sad than i should be that captain phil of the boat cornelia marie (from the show deadliest catch) has died. he was my favorite captain.

now if you excuse me, i'm going to go have a cry, take a pill, and hug my idiot dog for being adorable. i promise embarrassingly funny andrea stories from the 80s will resume shortly.