that al gore was wrong when he said that global warming was caused by all the garbage we're putting out in the environment. rather, i think it is the result of the body heat radiating off of people on SSRIs. i'm 87% certain that this exact second my guts must be made of liquid hot magma. and those of you who know me, i am NEVER warm. i'm the one found during a heat wave in july with a blanket on. more than one person who has slept next to me has retracted in fear at the ice blocks that are my feet. i am NOT WARM.
but holy shatner. i sit in the coldest part of the office, a space that usually requires me to be curled up in a blanket (not joking) with a space heater strategically placed for optimal heat. but today, today i wanted to strip down to my skivvies and go make snow angels.
the plus side (see?! positive fucking thinking) is that this will go away eventually, and until then, well, my heat bill will be lower.
i've been having crazy dreams the past couple of weeks. i don't remember all of them, but many involve me having to take standardized tests. but for weird things. one in particular was administred by my 8th grade shemale of a homeroom teacher. it was 4 questions long, two were math, two essay. and you had to pass to have a future. i guessed on both of the math before and i somehow knew that one of them was wrong. i picked 19 when it was supposed to be 9. and i woke up before i even got to do the writing ones. so who knows if i have a future. the other was similar, another standardized test, but i hadnt gotten to take it yet. i was in line with several miscreants of braxton county and if you passed the ACT-like test you got to go to a museum for valentines day. and if you didnt, well you were a miscreant of braxton and who knows what they do, probably make meth and go to the bowling alley. and the rabble had no desire to even waste their time taking the test because they thought museums were stupid and uppity. and i woke up before i took the test.
i'm really trying to pass this test. its hard though, bc i dont know the answers anymore. i thought i did. i thought i knew exactly how many a's, b's, c's to circle. but it turns out the test is... i dont know, in russian.
so for now. i am going to go take a nap. i have no exciting plans for the night. i'm just hoping i dont get snowed in this weekend again.
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