Why is it that I get a slew of drunk phone call and texts in the middle of the night from someone who I consider a friend at most telling me that I'm wonderful and I make him feel alive and that he has lied to me for years abt his feelings bc he actually loves me...

...when the person I love most, who I think loves me still but even that I don't even really know anymore, doesn't ever want to speak to me again in his life bc he doesn't want us and it's too stressful.

I do not understand life. I genuinely do not. It makes my head spin and hurt for everyone in this world who loves someone who won't/can't/don't love them back.

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