going to the gym this evening was exactly what i needed today. i needed to shake off a little bit of what is keeping me down. who would have thought i would come to enjoy working out? definitely not me.

i lied earlier when i said that i dont magically wish things would work out, bc i do. i always will have stupid hope that he'll see that i was right. but. i can't not hope bc thats just how i am. but i can't live my life waiting for it to change.

i've been thinking about tattoos again. i feel like if i can man up and just do it, then that would be a turning point in my life. maybe i am meant to go to DC. maybe i'm not. i dont know what i'm doing three days from now.

i'm just gonna keep trying to do the best i can, try to be the best me i can be, and have hope that there is a special plan for me out there.