when i get upset like this its so hard on me not to get really down on myself. And I need to get my chin up here. Bc I didn't do wrong here. I legitimately tried. Yeah breaking up back in April had to do with some of my issues. But I worked in them. I fixed them and myself. And I've done nothing but be supportive these last nine months. And I'm not sorry that I took my time to hurt and be upset after I found out he got married in November. I had every right to be upset. And it was healthier tht I took the time to feel it all than box it in and not feel emotions like I tend to do. And it's not my fault that he spent 7k on my ring and he doesnt think he will be able to get half that out of it if he sells it. I planned on wearing it the rest of my life. Plus, I didn't need a ring that expensive anyway. I'd be just as happy with one from walmart. It's hard not to get down in myself though. Bc you try to talk reason and be nice and supportive and you get yelled at. I didn't do anything wrong. Color me stupid but I think if you love someone you tell them. And I think there is always a place for second chances. And I feel bad that I'm bitching about this. Yeah. It's been a month. It's even been several months. But this isn't something I can just get over in a day. I was planning on getting married. This time last year I had just got my wedding dress fitted. This time last year we were getting ready to go to my work party, all fancy and happy. So how did I get here? I feel bad that ppl are coming out of the woodwork tryin to cheer me up. Even Todd is being supportive. Hell, he is the person who said he had never seen me as happy as the pic where I tried on my wedding dress and that he could see in my face how in love I was. Now he is trying to convince me that I'll find someone new who won't do this to me. I don't want people pitying me. I guess I brig it on myself though. It's just so hard to let go when you can see what good things there could be if people would just take one step and be brave. Im being brave and I keep having my feet kicked out under me. I'm going out this evening. Put on makeup, do my hair, plaster on a smile. Who knows what could happen? I guess it's time I give up on zach and try to move on. I don't like it, but what choice is there? - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone