half asleep, thats where dreams and demons meet

yes, i am aware it is 7am and i am typing. i've been awake for over an hour. why am i coherent at this time of day? a nightmare.

i dreamed that i woke up on a hospital table with my chest stitched closed and my throat stitched up too. i have no idea about the chest but i knew somehow that the throat they had cut out my voicebox. and i could see my friend rachael on a stretcher next to me and the doctors couldnt figure out what was wrong with her and somehow i knew (though i dont remember now) but i couldnt tell them bc i couldnt talk and i tried to stand up and passed out and thats when i woke up and you know how you associate things in real life, well my throat/neck has felt weird all morning now. gah. do not like.

so let's watch this instead. chris sent it to me and it has a nice beat.

jason is coming over today to put my newly acquired lately given birthday gift of a remote car starter. i felt iffy about the whole thing but its been so ridiculously cold lately that i think it's going to have to be a part of my life. i forget how much i just absolutely hate being cold until it gets cold. which is sad bc its so beautiful outside in this weather.

i painted pottery yesterday evening with lish. it is just so nerdy and fun. i'll give it to mom for christmas. i even put my initials and the date on the bottom like i did when i was in elementary school.

i talked to ben from the land down under last night too. i'm sad bc the family isn't coming to the East Coast this christmas after all. they're spending a month in idaho. bleh. he's trying to convince me to come out for a few days while they are there, and it is very tempting. I've not seen him in, what, 4 years, and the rest of the family in probably 8. i've got the time banked that i could go.... plane tickets are expensive though. yes, i did look into this already. i've got some time but not much to think over this. they'll be here from dec 21 to jan 21. i have always wanted a reason to travel west... we'll see. i'll probably be practical and boring and stay home. but i very much would love to see ben. and the family. and idaho.

i might as well go ahead and get some work done. it's cold in here and i really wish i could be little spoon right now. but you cant always get what you want, now can you.