several topics to tie together today, but they all boil down to the fact that i'm glad my mom raised me to know that its ok to be a nerd.
on the history channel this week there is a WWII special, with previously unseen footage thats been fixed to be in color (which i'm also thankful that we have documentation of these events and the means to preserve them). i've only watched the first night but holy cow its awesome. and as i was telling someone how amazingly cool it was, in a morbid way, they were surprised that i was a 'history channel nerd.'
now. i've always been a nerd. part of me at times wished mom had put me in pagents and garbage like that for the sole purpose of maybe not having such a debilitating fear of people. but that said, i'm glad they stuck books in my hands instead of makeup. i'm glad they gave me army men with my barbies and let me play battle tactic and doll school. i'm glad they let my older cousins let me play with firecrackers and blow up said army men and barbies. i'm glad when i wanted a wood burning kit and burnt my hand they didnt let me try ridiculous things after that. i'm glad they let me do ridiculous science experiments instead of sitting me infront of a tv (one time i made a 'potion' at my grandmothers house that i poured in the grass and it hasnt grown right there since. woops.) i'm glad they woke me up to go watch meteor showers (tonight, btw. its kinda cloudy otu right now which angers me). i'm glad they let me pick all the Queen Anne's Lace out of the field and dye it blue and red with food coloring. and i'm so glad they fed me history. i can remember watching Gettysburg in 3rd grade thinking it was the most amazing thing i'd ever seen and demanded we go visit there immediately. we camped out for a week and it is one of my favorite memories. or that they'd take me to the USS NC when we'd go to the beach and let me play all over the ship and the museum. its still one of the neatest things i love showing to people, though i've yet to meet anyone who thinks its as awesome as i do. or the fact that we research our ancestors so i know exactly what i come from (a long line of stubborn, sarcastic assholes. who would have thought?) i'm glad i appreciate reading as a sense of entertainment and learning. i'm glad i appreciate the smell of old books.
sometimes i've been overwhelmed by all this and have felt like i wasnt measuring up to the standards expected of me. but i think had i not been given the opportunities i was, and also learned to argue effectively, then i wouldnt be who i am today. and i still doubt myself all the time, but i know theres no one just like me out there and that its ok if i'm not the best at everything. bc i'm the best me i can be. and thats hard to maintain a positive attitude about some times, but i'm working on it.
i guess i'm just saying i'm thankful for the opportunities i've had and that i've never been afraid to let my freak flag fly.
now if you excuse me i'm going to go purchase some christmas lights and get home in time to watch part two of WWII in HD.
lovelove to all.
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