The One in which I Reveal I am an Idiot

So sitting at my desk yesterday, eating my Valentines-themed M&Ms (bc you know, it's completely logical that they had Valentines Day stuff on sale New Years Day) I thought to myself, Self, wouldn't these delicious M&Ms taste even better if they were chocolate cherry flavor? To which I decided I was so completely brilliant I immediately went to the Mars Confectionery website and sent them an email imparting my brilliant wisdom to their marketing department. And that hey, orange chocolate wouldn't be too shabby either! So after sending this work of art and feeling pretty damn proud of myself for coming up with something that the candy company had clearly looked over, I started tooling around the M&Ms website, looking at their history of production. Lo and behold. Wildly Cherry M&Ms. I was not the first person to think this up. Granted they were limited edition (with orange too, hrmph) in the late 90s, but honestly, who remembers anything tasty from the late 90s? Why were they just limited edition, did people not enjoy the fruity chocolate-y-ness-ness? (I'm also a wordsmith!)

So today I received an email response back from the company. It reads:

In response to your email regarding M&M'S WILDLY CHERRY LIMITED EDITION.

Thanks for contacting us about M&M'S WILDLY CHERRY LIMITED EDITION.

Because we are reviewing our marketing strategy, this product is unavailable at this time. Your comments will be shared with our Marketing Staff.

The product cannot be purchased via the Internet nor directly from us.

Have a great day!

Your Friends at Mars Snackfood US



Now. What they really wanted to type reads as such:

Dear Moron,

We tried that. It tanked. Go eat chocolate covered cherries, lardass.

Dont email us with anymore ideas.

You suck,
Mars Snackfoods US



oh well. there is still always my idea for bottled fresh-cut-grass smell.