Flashback 1990

In talking to Shainna online a little bit ago (because clearly we are incapable of going more than 5 hours without talking) we got on the topic of little kids valentines. You know the ones. The assorted box of your favorite cartoon characters or candy-themed cards, with the obligatory teacher themed card and an assortment of friend cards that we all spent hours and hours agonizing over who to give each specific card to... bc you KNOW you didn't want the icky boy/girl to think you liked him. he always got the 'you're a swell friend' card while the boy you reeeeally liked got the extra holographic heart sticker on theirs. don't pretend like you didn't put that extra sticker on there, bc we both know you did.

and everyone had the valentines card box made out of a cereal box covered in butcher paper and decorated in your own particular valentine themed vision of glitter and doilies and holograph stickers.

well in kindergarten, i thought i was the coolest girl on the planet. why? bc i was the only girl in my class to get a card from A FIRST GRADER.

oh. my. god.

in hindsight i can only imagine how hilarious my teacher (who is my aunt which makes it twice as funny) and my parents found this. it was just a piece of that ugly paper that we all learned to write on with a heart colored on it and that Roses are Red poem. Granted I couldn't actually read it, but I knew it must be a work of art because a FIRST GRADER gave it to me. and lets face it, this FIRST GRADER was the coolest boy on the playground.

My first mistake was asking dad to read me what the valentine said. He started to read the first line and trailed off and asked WHO IS THIS BOY?! WHY IS HE WRITING YOU A POEM? IN A HEART?!??! YOU AREN'T OLD ENOUGH FOR VALENTINES FROM BOYS!

and that folks basically explains my entire existance with my father, haha. but that was not the point of this blog. that was a tangent. the point of the blog was how much fun it was to get those valentines when you were little. To know which boys liked you by which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle card you got (bc obviously Michaelangelo was the coolest) and which girls thought you were really their best friends forever because that Barbie card with the roll of LifeSavers said so. And Barbie wouldn't lie to you. Skipper might, that little tramp, but Barbie? Never.

So. the moral of the story is I think I might relive my childhood and see if I can find some cute little-kid variety valentines and send them to all you magical readers. And dont worry, all of you are much higher than the 'swell friend' card. Hell, you might even get three heart stickers! and that's big for me, who usually hates valentines day and spends it in a permanent drunken stupor.

Oh man. Here is my pre-Valentines Day card to all of you, RIGHT NOW. Yes, that IS the flying spaghetti monster. hahaha.