So as many of you know, I spend too much time on WebMD trying to explain away myself. But lately I've decided that reruns of House are just as bad. I feel like we've discussed this before, but because of an episode I watched for the billionth time last night, I ended up on webmd again. It was the one where the kid eats cat shit and gets worms. NO, i dont think i have worms. But, during said episode, Wilson tries to diagnose House with Aspergers. Hmm... aspergers. So I look it up again, remembering I'd thought about this once before. Maybe I'm not just painfully shy, lacking the ability to look people in the eye, being socially and physically clumsy. maybe there is a real medical thing wrong with me! So I called mom (this is not the first time i've called mom in the middle of the night freaking out that something is wrong with me. Remind me to tell you sometime about when I was convinced I'd been born with a tail...) and explained to her and all she said was "You really need to stop watching television, Andrea." and hung up. She hung up on me! This was like the time I had myself convinced that I had kyphosis (hunchback type spinal curvature) and all she said to that was, 'Well, when you were little your back did curve some, but you started walking fine, so i didn't worry about it. Just stop slouching" THANKS MOM, I'M GOING TO END UP IN A BELLTOWER OF NOTRE DAME.
I have a theory, that children of the medical profession are screwed up because they're parents can explain away anything they have all while teaching them to read with medical magazines. I mean honestly, my first 'real' book was a childs medical dictionary, complete with pictures of the dirty parts. You got Dr. Seuss? I got pictures of the digestive tract. Eff all of you with your Thing 1 and Thing 2.
That said. The moral of the story is I'll never know if anything is wrong with me because of my intense hatred of going to the doctor. I've gone enough this past year, and will completely cement my hatred shortly, that I'll just stay an undiagnosed freak baby for the rest of my life. Hypothetical tail and all. Maybe I'll add another goal of staying the hell away from WebMD.
Also, almond cookies are delicious.
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