Cause Blinded, I am Blindsided

I've had one of those evenings where I've found two things that I like very much that to most other people won't probably make much if any sense. And I don't want to be one of those people who say that art or music or whatever "speaks to me" bc that's not the feeling I want to convey. It's more like... when you see it or hear it or taste it or feel it, you can say to yourself "that is exactly right. that is exactly what it should be." and it gives you chills sometimes. and I had that twice tonight, while sitting here trying to decide whether or not I feel sorry for myself that I am spending new years eve alone. and i'm not saying that to make you feel sorry for me, bc i've decided i dont feel sorry for myself. i think maybe i need this. i think i need to start this new year on my own two feet. Like the quote from P.S. I Love You (because one day i'll be able to express my thoughts myself) "So now, alone or not, you've got a walk ahead. Thing to remember is if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too." so that's what i'm going to do, figuratively speaking. but that is a tangent I didn't mean to go on, i meant to tell you about Bon Iver and The Darjeeling Limited.

First. Bon Iver's album For Emma, Forever Ago. an indie sorta band that broke up and then the lead singer wrote most of the best album (under the band's name) in a cabin in the middle of wisconsin where he sequestered himself away for three months. i have a theory, that the more with yourself you are, the more the art speaks. maybe that's the cough medicine talking, but i understand this. just wikipedia it if this didnt make any sense. the moral of the story is that i love this music. Blindsided is probably my new favorite song. the lyrics make no sense and make perfect sense. just listen to it, ok?

Then there is The Darjeeling Limited. I wanted to see this when it first came out but all I heard were terrible reviews. But, it was on HBO this evening and I had nothing else to do so i figured why not. I think this may now join my top ten films. It is funny and sad and wonderful, in the same way that I love Everything is Illuminated. it too makes no sense and makes perfect sense. I think the quotes that sum it (and me, perhaps) are these:
Rita: What's wrong with you?
Jack: Let me think about that. I'll tell you the next time I see you.



I feel like maybe for once I'm on the verge of figuring out something big. Not necessarily good, not necessarily bad, but important. I don't think the planets will align but maybe for once all my knitting stitchs will.