one of the things i like and hate about home is how quiet it is. i can be sitting on the back porch looking at an explosion of stars and all i can here is the sounds of nature and my new red watch.
1. i'm home, if you havent guessed. first time since...christmas? i still havent decided how i feel about it. kind of like an outsider. but thats pretty normal. i did get to meet my little cousins from Guatemala this evening which was nice. they're american kids who've spent half their time in south america. i had a lovely conversation with a three year old about the awesomeness of footy pajamas. if only they came in my size..
2. i have a giant bruise on my leg from the ghost in my desk drawer. its a known fact that i bruise easily. right now i look like an MMA reject.
3. my dog is glad i am home.
4. not that you care, but the stranger was really sick (like i said) and really did have to get antibiotics (also like i said) which lead to much jumping on a bed and screaming 'i'm always right, asshole.' bc well, i am always right.
5. we went to brew pub for dinner last night and it was just the perfect evening for a microbrew on the deck. it makes me equally happy and sad to be there because it reminds me of grad school and all the times shainna and jenny and i went there before, during, and after class. a lot of griping and crying and laughing has been done on that deck. i didnt realize how much it would hit me until i was back out there. but i refuse to avoid it like i avoid stewart street, because there are too many good memories i can yet make. i cant live my whole live avoiding memories and foregoing the possibility of new ones.
6. speaking of school, be sure to check out the english dept's website next week or the next on the alumni page. yours truly will be added to the list of people who have actually been able to find success with their degrees (their words, not mine). i'd put the link but i dont want that to be traced back to here as someday i still want to write my manifesto about what a crock of shit the grad department is and how nothing i learned there is what got me a job, my ass kissing and contacts in the engineering college is what got me where i am. but if you cant find the link and actually want to read it, i'll give it to you offa here.
7. i've felt off kilter since yesterday, but, it will get better. because it has to. start the next page in my advventure book.
8. i'm currently reading The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks and i think everyone should read it. Its non-fiction and entirely too long to talk about on here, but its a really interesting story. and also? i'm a nerd. it's one of those lost cause type things that i'm drawn to.
9. i really need to figure out what it is in my own life that i need to fix so that i can stop trying to fix everyone else. especially those who dont want fixed. i'm just trying to be helpful bc i care. i need to work on caring about myself. i have to make some mighty big decisions soon and they effect me and me alone, so it's time to get on the stick i guess.
10. i ifeel like there is something important that i should be saying but i cant even put the words together in my mind. if i could sit you here beside me, with the stars above us and the trees all around us and just hold your hand, that would probably be the best way to say all the things i can never say to anyone. just hold my hand and trust me and let me trust you and see where the stars take us.
11. i dont know what i'm doing. i wish i had a funny story for you.
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