dreams

i had ridiculous dreams all night of ghosts of hoggles past, more lying, angry wives who blame me for all their problems, getting my eye plucked out, and windfarms. the last was a different dream, but still. i dont know if the drugs make my dreams more vivid or my subconscious is finally catching me square between the eyes. it gave me a lot to think about though. i know this probably makes no sense or perfect sense. but lets just say, my dreams really woke me up. and hurt.

so the dog is still misbehaving and is currently spending her day hanging out in my bathroom til she stops using the entire downstairs as her toilet. i know animals have a hard time adjusting to a new place, and i'm probably being too hard on her bc i'm feeling crazy anyway, but its getting old.

so since i moved outside of town, i have about a 4 mile stretch of 2 lane that i travel each day before i get to a busier road that leads me through town. i thought i was going to hate that i now have a 20-25 minute drive to and from work whereas before it took me 12 minutes on a bad day. but so far i really like it. the drive is through a beautiful area, and it gives me time to either think about what i have to do for the day, or unwind. moving to the opposite side of town, outside of town, i think will be the best decision i ever made. it's a better environment for me (i can see the stars at night! you dont understand how much this makes me able to breathe again) but it gets me away from the convenience of fast food. i've been cooking for myself more. and thats always a good thing. i dont know. i cant explain it. i think even though it was an overwhelming one, it was a good change. i felt like i needed a gold star sticker for all the positive things i've been doing lately. so... i let myself splurge a little and bought this:

it's simple and its pretty and its handmade. it's my gold star reminder that things are getting better. i just have to keep working on it, looking at the stars, and remembering the good things. bc there are, and have always been the good things.

love..