I was just laying here in bed and it hit me that yesterday was st pats (which I knew, but) and how the events of last years holiday completely changed the entire course of my life. It's so bizarre. I don't like it and all, but I'm still convinced that it sped up the process of a downward spiral that was inevitable. But I've always been one of those ppl who think, if this hadn't happened, would x,y,z,etc. it's just crazy to me really.

However. I'm convinced that this upcoming year period, this is MY year. I feel good about it as a whole. Do I sometimes get lonely and panicky, absolutely. But I feel like... Things are going to happen that are again going to change the course of my life, and they are all going to be for the better. I feel like my big adventure is coming, one way or another. Of course I feel incredibly impatient. Bc that's just how I am.

Now to get out of bed and go see if Shainna is awake and start this day.

Good things will happen, everyone. I just gotta believe in them and you gotta believe in them for me. But I believe with all my heart that this time next year, we all will be thanking God that zach did go to that bar and cheat on me with that slut and then proceed to go batshit crazy. That's a tall order. But I anticipate the hell out of it.


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