see how important you really are?

i think all my dreams could be made into lifetime movies. this one is one of the top ten most messed up because it ended in me puking in real life.

the dream was really several little dreams, all with the same outcome. in each one i am captured by some creepy old man and am pretty much held for some type of ransom. think along the lines of the Saw movies, where someone has to do something or someone else dies. in this case Someone had to do specific things, like fix things in their life, tell the truth, etc., or i would be paralyzed. each time they watched it happen, because in the end they wouldnt do what was asked of them. and each time the creepy man would make me look in their eyes as he said 'see how important you really are?' and then would always do something to the base of my neck. shoot me, hatchet me, twist it till it pops, etc. and it would be the worst pain i've every felt, and then i'd feel nothing.

i dont need subconscious voodoo mumbo jumbo to tell me what this one means, i know.

needless to say i woke up with the worst migraine on the planet which lead to the above mentioned problem. and it radiates in the spot where the crazy man would inflict the pain. i still came to work, bc i have to. i'm going to be pissed if i have another migraine all weekend and have to hole up in the dark. but yes, subconscious. i get it. i understand how important i really am. even i know that and dont need to be paralyzed to figure it out.

in lighter news, i went on the walking trail through the woods here at work yesterday. i stopped to think how sedintary my life really has been, and i think if i started trying to flat out run again, i'd die. i quit zumba back before i started working from home in december. and those two months i didnt leave the couch. so i went and walked the trail and it felt great to be outside in the sunshine, but it showed me that i definitely need to get my shit together because if i cant walk up a hill without wheezing, i'm in trouble. so until my new shoes come in, i'm going to walk that every day. i've got to start somewhere, and thats the place i guess.

i'm not going home for mothers day, which makes me a bad child, but i sent mom flowers that she apparently got yesterday. i just have no desire to go home. i know thats bad. but i just dont. oh well. be sure to tell your mothers how much you love them on sunday. and everyday. people need reminded that they are actually loved quite a bit. it's easy to forget.

and so this isnt totally depressing, a fun story. our office won the segway for the month. this obviously is bad news for the segway. we've already created an obstacle course and are timing ourselves. winner gets a soda. kids, this is your tax dollars at work.

at any rate, i should start my day. i hope you are having a wonderful day and have a great weekend. and remind someone you love how important they really are. because it is paralyzing to feel like youre not.