i had a whole post written out in my head last night, but getting out of bed wasn't worth the rambling mess that would have been put on the interwebz for you to scratch your head over. i was not quite stewing, so maybe i was souping (harharhar) over the places we all are in our lives right now. i'd had a very good conversation with dawn over the course of the weekend where i just really had to rehash a lot of things that i've been saying on here, been saying to myself, and havent allowed to let myself say at all.
i'll be the first to say that i feel like i'm on my way to a good place. i still dont know what the end result is, i know it's not what i had expected, but i feel its a good thing. the only thing i can think about to compare it to is one of those choose your own adventure books. you come to a point where you slay the dragon or swim across the swamp. once you do it you cant go back because you cant rewrite your story. you just have to see your choices through. you'll remember each step and learn from each turn of the page, but you cant ever relive it.
i think from this standpoint, i miss some people, and i always will, but i genuinely wish them happiness in their own adventure. maybe in 50 pages we'll meet back up in a different scenario, maybe we're written out of each other's story forever. i do not know. but all you can do is hope for the best and fight that dragon.
or maybe the Beatles describe it better with "In My Life."
i dont know if this even makes sense. i have a headache behind my eyes and cant concentrate. its the weather. it makes me weepy. i just want to curl up and be loved on.
lovelove
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