so i have determined that today will be a good day. but first, two crazy dreams from last night.
the first was so realistic that it woke me up at 3am and i couldnt get back to sleep. in it i had to find someone, they were dark haired and swarthy, and tell them i was up the spout. how romantic. so we got engaged but this romance aspect (or lack thereof) is not the point of the dream. the point is that i was taken up to this beautiful mountaintop family compound to meet the matriarch of the family who gave me this beautiful strange purple ring and was told i'd have the family's protection as long as i didnt lose it. you see where this is going right? turns out it was cursed and disappeared and grandma decided to kill me. i woke up right before she stabbed me. (who has two thumbs and is batshit crazy?) the second dream i knew was a dream but i let it happen as it was of an upcoming wedding. and everyone looked beautiful and i genuinely hoped that they were happy. and i felt proud of myself for wishing that. and then i woke up and felt a little blue. which i decided was not allowed today.
so picture if you will me in the shower (though i dont want you to picture that, so imagine i'm wearing a raincoat and boots in there) singing at the top of my lungs as i play Coldplay's Viva la Vida on repeat, conducting the orchestra parts violently as i get soap in my eyes. this song has become my battle hymn. and i played it all the way to work, and still here in my office until my mate comes in and we have our typical lady gaga friday. but this song, i can get energized about this song. i can pick myself up out of bed and dance around in my pajamas. i can conduct the strings just a little bit louder. and all is as close to right in my world as i can get it.
i'm going to have a good day because i said i will. i may be sad at the core of the matter, but if you put the show on long enough you start to believe it yourself. and i will dance around to my future husband chris martin as many times as it takes.
i hope you all have a great day.
lovelove
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