blue tennis shoes

the title has nothing to do with anything, really.

so. hows things? good i hope.

so i get to go to D.C. for work next week. isnt that exciting? i woke up knowing today was going to be a day full of exciting news. if only that was the only one!

so tell me, in a rhetorical fashion. does anyone besides me hate when people decide what you are going to say without even giving you an option to say it? or say anything for that matter? i know for me it tends to be the exact opposite of what is expected! but funnily enough, that doesnt matter. bc its already been excited what you -would- have -maybe- -possibly- but not at all had you been given the whole story- would have said this thing. needless to say, i'm a little unhappy there.

so instead of thinking, i decided to go shopping this evening. this is a terrible problem of mine. if i keep myself busy, then i wont think. only now i have new clothes and my brain is still cranking. at least i can wear them on my business trip. who knows, maybe i'll pick up a senator!

i also went to look at cell phones. do to work and extenuating circumstances that should have been taken care of long ago, i need a smart phone with a new number. i'm probably going on saturday to remedy this, but i want to get opinions of phone users. do i break down and get the iphone? what do we feel about the blackberry? what else out there is there?? options, kids. i need some new options in my life. i cant exactly afford it right now, but something tells me now is as good a time as any.

so what else. lots else. but we wont get into that here. actually, i've been thinking of closing this blog down and starting over fresh. this is not at all what i wanted this to be. this is just like the last one. i wanted this to be a positive piece of the blogosphere. build some good karma. figure out what i'm doing. i had positive things going on there for a bit, and i need to work that back. i've been following theLOVEolution on twitter and is one of those interesting and inspiring things. i recommend it and the website for positive thoughts throughout the day.

today i'm also thankful for my friends. not only do they put up with a lot of crap from me, but they still stand up for me afterwards. that is dedication i had overlooked and taken advantage of for far too long. i know people mean well and stick up with me when i cant stick up for myself.

i talked to my grandmother this evening for awhile. its nice to talk to her even when we dont really have anything to say. she's excited for my trip next week even if it is for work, and she's more than happy to take care of the evil poochie while i'm gone. sometimes i wish i could tell her everything. but i think i'm more afraid that in most cases, she'd agree with me that things are worth what i think they are. i dont know. i had strange strange dreams last night that i dont know what they mean.

i am tired of excuses. and i'm tired of not being included in the deciding of my own life. i'm going to go take a bath.