So. Everyone on tv is dying lately. I don't know how I feel about all that. Everyone is writing these big, deep things about all the stars, but maybe I just fall in the wrong gap of time, bc it doesn't bother me that much. I think by the time I started listening to MJ's music, he was well on his way to being strange. Sure I remember being little and my older cousins teaching me to moonwalk (something I find super embarrassing and will never ever show you), but it's not like the music changed my life. Granted, his style changed future music, and I should take that into perspective, but mostly, out of all of this, I just feel bad for his children.
These people are doing great things. I support that.
Things seem off kilter since coming back from Kellie's wedding. Like I've got nothing to plan for or worry about. But something else feels like it's missing. I can't figure out what it is, but I don't like it.
I brought the dog home, and she hates it. She's been so used to having the farm to run on and 4 other dogs to play with that I know she's bored out of her mind. I come home in the evening and she just mopes around. It breaks my heart. If it doesn't get better soon, I might seriously consider taking her home and leaving her. Which would suck, but I had gotten used to not having her, and I'd rather the dog be happy.
I am going to try, try I tell you, to do my Alphabetical Appreciation Month starting tomorrow. Just a sentence or two each day about someone I appreciate. Bc I don't let people know very well how much they mean to me. I kinda suck at that whole feelings nonsense.
It's storming out, which means I won't be going to cooper's rock this evening as planned. Looks like I'll be holing up and watching netflix movies instead. I'm semi-ok with this.
This is probably the most whiny little kid-like thing i've said on here lately (believe me, i'm aware that I whine a lot.) but i'm still sad i didn't get the stupid t-shirt i wanted at the aerosmith concert the other night. i talked myself out of it and then have regretted it since. I found it online, but its 40 bucks. for a t-shirt! that's highway robbery! So i go home each evening and look at it online and almost buy it but talk myself out of it, bc what if i need that money for something else. when did i become so miserly? am i becoming...... responsible? surely not.
so i'm thinking more and more about the prospect of a birthday vacation this year, even if it is by myself. by then i'll have some time saved up and can actually go. part of me wants to go somewhere new, but the other part wants to go back to topsail and recharge my batteries. i have 3 months to think about it. hopefully i'll actually decide.
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