1996 - Sixth grade. sixth grade was one messed up time. i started liking boys. i grew a chest over night and hated it. i started that 'woman thing' that we werent allowed to discuss. and i went to my first school dance. holy effing eff. just thinking about it makes me want to give my 12 year old self a vodka (side note, in sixth grade my math teacher did often drink at work, hiding it in her coffee. we always knew something was up but didn't really know about alcohol yet). but the first dance i went to. this was a BIG DEAL bc i was still (am) painfully shy. Having never been to a dance I had no idea how these things should be approached. Do you wear a dress? do you go in with a gaggle of friends? THERE NEEDS TO BE A MANUAL FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME. with diagrams. in color. But the song. the song that will forever be burned in my brain from that 6th grade dance. Quad City DJ's "C'mon Ride the Train." now. listening to it now i can see how dirty it really is. hell, in the video, the space ship thingy even looks like a dick. but in sixth grade, you walk into a dance and there is everyone in a congo line making choo-choo noises. and i thought it was the most wonderful thing that ever happened on the face of everything that is wonderful and happening. did we think about air humping the person in front of us? no. we were too busy doing the air horn sound and arm movement. and it was brilliant and it was wonderful and it will always be that way. i think i can i think i can i think i can.
1997 - i had my first boyfriend this year. omgz. if of course you call dating sitting with someone at lunch and being to embarrassed to talk to them and only writing them letters, never talking on the phone. and dawson's creek was big then. and therefore, so was the majesty that was Eagle Eye Cherry. and Save Tonight was my helpless romantic teeny bopper song. i was trying to be rebellious. i was attempting to be in love (of course, in hindsight its not even close if you purposefully break up with them before thanksgiving break, in a note i might add, just so you dont have to spend money on buying them a christmas present) (oh yes. i did that) but you wanted to be joey and dawson and you wanted everything to be like those creeker kids and this song just summed up everything you wanted to say but didnt know you wanted to say yet.
and of course i start to get angsty. who didnt?
1998 - this year can not be covered by one song, but rather a whole cd. to which i covet to this very day. and if you ever say anything bad about this band i will write you out of my life. but 98 is the year that paul introduced me to the wonder that was Ben Folds Five. sure everyone was listening to the song "brick" then. but it took a boy who was in love with my best friend to introduce me to the other songs on the album, the GOOD songs. the songs that i will still put on in the car when i have to drive long distances alone just so i can scream/sing them at the top of my lungs. But I will stand by the statement that the album Whatever and Ever Amen changed my life. now, whether that is a good or bad change, you decide and keep it to yourself. but the piano! the piano playing. i cant even put it into words. Having seen Ben Folds a few years ago in concert, his piano abilities still floor me in the exact same way they did in 8th/9th grade. and One Angry Dwarf and 2000 Solemn Faces will always be my all time favorite ben folds song, which i screamed at him in complete and utter star struckness when i got him to sign his latest LP for me. ben folds approaches the piano how i wish i could approach life.
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