the book orders

i dont know if every elementary school did this, but growing up at Little Birch, every couple of months we would have Scholastic book orders. each student would get a little pamphlet with all the different scholastic books in it that were approved for our age ranges and our parents could order them. being who i am, this was my favorite, sacred event. i would carefully put that order form packet in my folder like it was the declaration of independence and solemnly yet gleefully bring it home to mom. i got to sit down at the table and pour over the list of books and circle the titles of the ones i wanted. after mom would look over this and realize every time it was well over half the options, i would have to go back through and number them in order of what book i wanted very very most. this was always the most painful part. only now do i realize how hard that must have been for mom, too. because that was when the mines closed and dad was back in school and we werent exactly rolling in the dough. but i always got to choose at least one book. and i can remember some of my favorite books that came out of that. Number the Stars. The Mouse and the Motorcycle. A Wrinkle in Time. and yes, the babysitters club books. when the day came that the books arrived to the classroom, it was like christmas all over again for me. to get that bundle of new, perfect books that were all for me. that was the best part. even in elementary school, books meant whole new worlds for me. books have taught me more than humans have, which is both a positive and a major flaw. but i have never gotten over the joy of getting a new (or at least, new to me) book. my multiple bookcases and shelves and random stacks attest to that. and only recently have i truly enjoyed reading like i used to. and i'm so glad to have that feeling back. not just because sometimes its the only feeling ones got, but because... well.. for me anyway, it's just magical.

i dont know why i thought about all that. its two thirty in the morning and as usual, i cant sleep. i've been out of it for the last few days, but as always happens, the sun comes out and i come back to myself. sometimes i feel like my own long lost friend.

i should really try to sleep now. much love to all of you.