sorry i havent posted much, kids. strange things have been afoot at the circle k. and i've got enough jumbling around in the head, most of it unimportant, that i finally decided to take it out on the few of you that read this garbage.
1. i suppose i should get it out first. for those of you who know leah, she needs your thoughts, as does her new husband lukas. lukas was just diagnosed with classic hodgkins lymphoma yesterday. he's 30, i think. from what they understand thus far, there are good chances with chemo and radiation that he will be fine. it's several places in his body though. i dont know more details than this at the time. this terrifies me, just as it does when anyone my age, no, anyone at all has health scares like this. i dont understand why this happened to them now, when they've only been married, what, 4 months? i mean, yes, i am sure it helps him to have her there to support him. it just all makes me angry. it makes me angry bc it reminds me of what a thin line i walk.
2. i have no idea why, but i was sitting at work the other day and remembered what i wore to my first day of high school. why is this important? it's not. but it was one of those random moments where i could picture it in my head. getting off the school bus and walking into school. i had my army green jansport backpack, my grey o'neil tshirt with the awesome dragon on the back that i later gave to olivia bc she borrowed it all the time, these awesome blue and green checked shorts that i couldnt fit one leg in anymore but would be too embarrassed to wear them bc they were THAT SHORT, and my white nikes with the navy and baby blue trim with matching socks. why in the hell did this come to mind.
3. inglorious basterds is amazing. but i think you have to be a tarentino fan to appreciate it. my moving going companion thought it was terrible. but then, they never agree with me on a good movie. all i have to say is go see it. and the scene with the red dress is graphically fantastic.
4. LJ came up today from fairmont to go out to dinner. he knows he can always sucker a free meal out of me. but i gladly do it bc he cracks me up. i'm glad of the relationship i have with some of my family members. he's currently asleep on my couch with the dog, and i cant tell which is snoring louder. we had a lot of fun at dinner, though we sat too close to the back where the waitstaff hang out and got to hear in detail how some of the waiters feel about some chick at table six in the fuck-me heels.
5. here is where i tell you something embarrassing and dumb. you know how some people have weird obsessive compulsive tendencies. well i do too. when i get upset there is a spot on my head that i rub. i've done it for as long as i remember, same spot. the moral of the story is that i've been so stressed/upset lately, i've rubbed the spot bald. its not big by any means, and you cant even see it, but seriously, if you see me touch my head make me stop. i know you officially think i'm batshit crazy, and i probably am. i'd rather have ulcers again. i dont know why i told you people this.
6. work is work, not good not bad. theres so much outside drama that comes into work though, and it poisons the whole environment. it's a hive of scandalous behavior. i have to say, i'm looking more forward to vacation every day. please send good thoughts in the coastal direction though, bc i'm now officially worried we're going to get down there and there will be a hurricane.
7. there was a robbery in the trailerhood recently, and this is the first time i've ever felt unsafe to live here. and i hate that. i have the dog, and she can sound mean when she needs to, but when it came down to it, she'd be happy to see anyone. i'm starting to sleep better, but i dont feel 100% safe. but i guess no one ever is.
8. The Santa Clause is on. this is bc LJ is asleep on the remote.
9. so lets face it. i'm afraid to make major life choices. i'm afraid of hurting people, afraid of letting people down, mostly afraid of putting all my eggs in one basket when the baskets been known to have holes. the easy way out is not always the easy way out. To quote Rob from High Fidelity, "I've been listening to my gut since i was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."
10. i just sat here for 20 minutes trying to think of a tenth thing to say so that i wouldnt end on an odd number.
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