i feel like all i talk about anymore is snow. i'm going to have to start sleeping in one of those seasonal depression light booths.

do you ever take a step back from your life and wonder how exactly it is you got there? believe me, i know this is a good place. a very good place. but is this what i pictured when i was a little girl? hell, was this what i pictured three years ago? or am i just over thinking things, like i do everything. bc i always feel like whatever i do isnt enough. but what if it is? what if it's more than enough? why am i asking so many damn questions??

this is one of those times i wish i could paint. bc then i'd paint something, and then take it to someone else and ask what it means.

i dont like that where my life physically will go in the next several years depends on what the stranger wants to do school/occupation wise. at the same time, its nice not to have to choose myself. as it stands right now, i think we will stay in morgantown at least one more year, so that the stranger can either finish his mba with some special emphasis that i dont understand and/or start law school here. after that year however, the sky is the limit, and it seems like the strangers sky is lexington. while i love the town and the friends and family i have there, we all know how well i really deep down deal with change. but the stranger isnt really happy here, and i can be happy anywhere (well, anywhere that isnt anywhere north of here. have i mentioned i hate snow?) so i'd go wherever he wants. its not the first time i've been willing to uproot for someone, but at least this time its worth something.

good things i have accomplished today: drinking the prescribed 103 ounces of water that i'm supposed to each day, not bite my nails, not taken a nap even though i wanted to. these are little things i guess, but soda, nail biting, and sleeping are all a stupidly embarrassingly large part of my life, part of keeping my stress in check. but i've been trying. now i take my aggression out on ice cubes and pistachios.

i'm in one of those moods where if i saw one of those commercials about homeless dogs i'd probably break down.

the sun will come out again. and we'll get warm and happy.

stay warm and happy everyone.

lovelove