Lunchtime Rambles

Sorry kids. I've really dropped the ball on writing lately, haven't I? (This is where tonya is probably giving me the finger.)

I think its been the weather or maybe because I've been on the internet so much lately, but I just haven't felt like writing. I feel spring coming on and I want to be out doing as much as possible before I crash in exhaustion. So I have been, and I love it. But. I felt compelled to ramble today, so ramble I shall.

I was just sitting here at work, doing some work (vague and shady, Andrea) and realized how much I actually enjoy my job. It is not what I planned to do nor will I do it forever, but holy Shatner, is it what I needed in my life right now. And I think it took someone telling me in a very negative way that I was boring and all I had to look forward to was a pat on the back and a gold watch for me to realize that this job, what I'm doing, and what I'm a part of is amazing. It is so much more than a gold watch. The work I do, in it's own small way, contributes to the future of our world. The work I do, in it's own small way, decides what kinds of new and innovative research is being completed in the United States. And some Canada, but we don't count them. And I wish I could talk about it all and tell you what is going on out there and how incredibly cool some new research is, some that is happening right in our own backyard! These projects are going to change the ways the next generations live their day to day lives. And when I step back and look at it from that perspective, it blows my mind.

And I hate that it took someone's negative comments for me to realize that I am on the path I need to be on. I'm learning more than I could have ever imagined just because I didn't quit when things were hard. I stuck it out, got the education when I hated going to class, put the time in in the shitty jobs to have the experience, paid my taxes, and am now in a position that opens up so many doors for me. And this isn't me trying to talk myself up here. This is me being like, holy cow. That's awesome. I did not see that coming. But it did! This job allowed me to do so much more than work. I can give to charities and non-profits more than I've ever been able to because I have the income and the steady evening and weekend hours to do it. I can go on trips to visit friends and family more because I don't have to worry about working crazy shifts or what homework is due. I can name my idiot brother my beneficiary because I'm in the position where I can actually set aside something for my (or others) future(s).

Maybe I'm more than grateful for the rude comments. They opened up my eyes to how blessed I am and have always been. Sometimes it takes a slap in the face and a burnt bridge to realize that. And if I get that gold watch, I'll know it was for a job well done.