We all know that deep down (very very deep), I love my idiot brother. We don't share any interests other than drinking and sleeping. But he's my idiot brother none the less.
We had to sign up for new insurance stuff at work today and for our Life insurance we had to name a Beneficiary. This is terrifying to me. So I decided, in a moment of idiocracy, that I'd make the Idiot Brother (from here on out, IB) my beneficiary. I needed his SSN to do this. The conversation goes as follows (all thru txt msg)
Me: I need your SSN, asshat
IB: WTF you need that for, you gonna sell it to some illegal immigrant for booze money?
Me: Bc I made you my beneficiary, douchebag.
IB:What the hell you talking about?
Me: If I kick the bucket you get my cash monies. I hate you.
IB:Thats fucking depressing. Here it is: (# here). Delete this msg immediately.
Me:Shouldn't you be a little more grateful I'm bequeathing you my millions?
IB:Pay your student loans off first, then we'll talk.
Here is where I add this is the most in depth conversation we've had since Christmas.
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