Today I am thankful for Lortab. Last night at the gym, I broke my ass.

I wish I was kidding.

Do you remember that cheesy exercise equipment where you put booties on over your shoes and then slide back and forth across that slick surface? Now picture me doing that. And then falling directly in my tailbone. This hurt like hell but hurt my pride more so I got back up and tried again. Three slides later and I'm
Back on my ass. It hurt all evening. Sitting on the toilet made me tear up. I couldnt sleep for shit and decided to go to urgent care. Even sneezing hurt.

So I went. And do you know how embarrassing that is? I had to get X-rays. And after about five of them the technician asked if I was planning on getting pregnant any time soon, bc I shouldn't, what with all these X-rays.

Uh....

So I'm hopped up on lortab, Sittin on a donut cushion.

So send good thoughts toward my butt. But more so, send them to mother nature so it doesn't rain on Saturday for lauras wedding. I'm so excited. I still need to write a speech.


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